The Reward is the Journey

I don't watch much television.  I watch only that which comes highly recommended by those whose opinions I have come to trust.  The first episode of 'The Outcast' had caused something of a stir amongst colleagues with whom I have been exploring the implications of Attachment Theory as a lens through which to look at our work in the therapy room. The BBC's two part dramatisation of Sadie Thomas' novel didn't disappoint.  Easy viewing it was not, but it held my attention in a way so many things that are apt to come onto our screens fail to. It was a beautifully observed tale of a young man whose destiny is largely determined by the appalling tragedy he suffers as a 10 year old the effects of which are barely acknowledged and certainly not ameliorated by his father whom we know to be grief stricken (and likely suffering from undiagnosed PTSD) but in whose demeanour it is impossible to detect even a shred of emotion. In the scenes that follow the horrif...

I find Attachment Theory a helpful lens through which to look.  This is, after all, where we begin and the point from which our stories are developed.   Attachment comes first.  As human beings, it is our primary instinct:  we prioritise it over everything else.  And this is where Bowlby disagreed with Freud... I am, today, less concerned with the intellectual rift between these two mighty influential thinkers and far more interested in thinking with my clients about their attachment styles and how these play out in each and every one of their relationships.    Evolution has not reduced the power of the attachment instinct.  It is hard wired.   An infant has an innate capacity to engage his or her caregivers through a range of behaviours designed to attract and elicit their vital attention.  This is how we boost our chances of survival.   Attachment Theory provides a very comprehensive framework thro...