The Reward is the Journey

The recent story to break in the press about legal highs caught my eye but was not much of a surprise.  Deaths due to so-called 'legal highs' have shot up by 80%.  The figure sounds appalling but does not, in reality, tell us much, except that there are more reported deaths accounted for by the usage of synthetic drugs.  Statistics lie, after all.  Or rarely tell the full story.  I was pleased to be able to step in when LBC 97.3FM asked me for a professional opinion this evening (the piece was subsequently deferred due to the recent developments in Syria).   Spice, meow meow, black mamba, mexxy, benzofury, bath salts*.  They're all the rage.  Have been for a while, and this tragic reality is an accident that's been waiting to happen.  It was, I think, only a matter of time. The main problem with these manufactured psychoactive substances so readily available to anyone with access to the internet is that they are largely untested. ...

My blueberries did not scan first time.  The supermarket assistant tried again.  And then figured it might be quicker, and more straightforward, to manually enter the product code.  It worked.  The label hadn't. They don't always.  Within the briefest of interactions, which could not have lasted more than a minute the member of staff had used a gender specific pronoun no less than three times.  Each time completely, I felt, unnecessarily.   I felt riled up.  But I did not let on.  Instead, I enquired whether I might make a suggestion which was  immediately welcomed.  I explained that whilst I hadn't been offended or insulted, the use of the word 'Miss' might well alienate some shoppers.   The person to whom I addressed my concerns looked, at first, quizzical.  Then increasingly perplexed...  It was obvious that this wasn't a suggestion of the variety that they had foreseen.   They proceeded to re...

Another year has flown by.  It was Mum's birthday this week.  Birthdays are important - to me, at least.  We have begun to take them quite seriously.  Her consultants don't have much confidence she'll have many more.  Old age, sickness and death - the three certainties, according to he who has become known as the Buddha.  The thing about chronic illnesses such as COPD and Emphysema is that they may rule out the first option.  She has yet to turn 70, but has the lifestyle of someone who's enjoyed great many more years.   The illness sits between my mother and I. Every contact is contaminated with reminders of its ever increasing presence as it plunges its claws ever deeper.  It has sapped so much life out of her, which I hate to acknowledge but can no longer ignore.  Our theatre trip together this weekend was a something of a joyous reprieve - we all enjoyed the change of scenery and the production was, we all agreed (in contrast to ...

It was a nasty shock and an unwelcome reminder that Charlotte is, whilst very athletic (winning the Womens 4-Up 10mile Millennium Time Trial at Bicester last Tuesday), still a cancer patient.  She is awaiting a final instalment of surgery (the 'finishing touches') and, following her somewhat traumatic pre-op on Wednesday, was taken unwell on Thursday.   This is a woman who knows her body very well.  It has been through a lot.  She has carried herself with such grace, and when unable to do so alone, allowed others to step in and support her through the most gruelling phases.  Treatment took priority last year, and this year has been about living in the solution - on Tamoxifen.  The green juices and (slightly adjusted) exercise regimen have already paid dividends.  Charlotte is now a triathlete (although she's keeping it quiet-ish) - having done a sterling job at the Shock Absorber WomenOnly triathlon at Dorney Lake on 14 July (the challenge ...

As I sat in the traffic, something unusual caught my eye.  Not, for a change, someone running the red light.  Something altogether more interesting.  Something altogether more beautiful.  He had bottles lined up, and several more in the air.  He threw them and then caught them in sequence, with precision.  With masterful artistry.  For the briefest of moments, I was captivated.   And then it was time to continue with my journey...   It's these moments that might appear in a Pleasant Events Calendar*, were I to be completing one.  And so I might.  It reminded me that pleasant things can occur quite out of the blue, in corners that we least expect to find them.  I have never met the juggler, whom I presume to be a bartender with flair, or one in the making.  And it's unlikely to ever happen, yet in that moment, what I saw him doing changed my day.  For the better. I enjoy teaching mindfulness.  It is a...

It's not always clear to those who ask me about my practice and the areas in which I specialise.  I have never sought to be able to do everything.  I'm not sure it's possible.  I was drawn towards the addiction field.  It called me, and I landed.  I paused a while, as there was a great deal to absorb.   I learnt what I know about addiction from the inside out, and I was supported in my development by some fabulous individuals whom I met along the way.  But addiction is, I came to see very quickly, but a symptom.  People do not, generally, fall into drink and drugs, or other self defeating behaviour quite by chance.  We are taken to dark places by dark things, and most people who find themselves in the grips of the cunning, baffling illness that is addiction, have experienced some dark events.   So, whilst working with those seeking to heal and recover from their addictive behaviours, I became increasingly aware of the layers tha...

Dear Pool, It was so good to see you again.   To be greeted by your cool and refreshing water.  So empty on a Monday morning.   The sunlight making those beautiful patterns on the painted bottom beneath me. Enveloped by the depth, and supported by the volume. Peaceful and serene.   The beautiful quietness lacking language yet feeling never more so connected.   I hadn't realised how much I have missed you, and what you give me. It was so good to stretch, and breathe, and swim. I have come to realise that time I spend in the water is never wasted time. The state I find myself during and after a swim is hard to achieve elsewhere. Whilst in water, I think, I am in my element. I am looking forward to swimming more regularly... We couldn't have wished for a better morning swim.  Whilst not the warmest it's been, it was quiet, and that was worth the few degrees difference in temperature.  The water was cool, and inviting.  I l...

The inaugural Prudential Ride100 was an experience I am unlikely (and hope never) to forget.  For now, it is imprinted in my visceral memory, as my body continues to recover from the exertions it entailed.  I will, I think, be reflecting on the experience in the days and weeks to come but for now, I am deeply connected with a sense of having taken part in something terrifically special and out of the ordinary.  It was extraordinary.  There were sixteen and a half thousand of us on two wheels.  Including at least one tandem entry whose riders were doing a fabulous job and maintaining quite a pace when I saw them!  The course was tough, but did not feel as gruelling as I had perhaps feared.   The atmosphere was intense.  From the moment we unloaded the bikes on Jamaica Road, the closest we could get to the QEOP and the former Stadium, we were in great company.  We pedalled with hundreds of others, all up at the crack of dawn (the sun had o...