The Reward is the Journey

A series of recent conversations and coincidences discovered along the way have prompted me to navigate the not uncomplicated pathway to log back in to this Blog. It has been like meeting and sitting down for a cup of tea with an old friend.  Well, a pot of tea, perhaps.   Whilst I have continued writing since last posting in this forum, I have done so far less regularly, despite being anything short of inspiration. And so, without any pledge or commitment, but rather with an intention to pursue with curiosity something which feels to call to me in this moment, I am delighted to begin again. As I do so, the below words of a poem I have read aloud a great many times, to myself and into circles during mindfulness trainings, come to mind. “Begin” Begin again to the summoning birds to the sight of the light at the window, begin to the roar of morning traffic all along Pembroke Road. Every beginning is a promise born in light and dying in dark determination and exaltation of s...

The present moment is the only moment available to us,  and it is the door to all moments.   ~ Thich Nhat Hanh Teaching mindfulness always gives me more than it takes.  Whilst I may fret about the preparation of a class or workshop, once it's under way, the rewards are mine for the taking.   Practising alongside others is always a pleasure, and never more so than when I find myself guiding a group, some of whom may be meeting the practice for the first time.   Yesterday's workshop was no exception.  A group of us gathered and got onto mats with blocks and bolsters (and, in some cases, chairs) and practised mindfulness together - first sitting, then walking, before doing some more mindful movement in the form of long held yin yoga poses, concluding our two hours together with a seated reflection.   Whilst a few faces were familiar, many of us were meeting for the first time.  Curiosity and open mindedness were our friends as we...

This time of year brings everyone together.  And we congregate at the Pool.  Some of us lie outstretched, towels upon concrete, others dip toes into the water whilst sipping something cool (soft drinks only, though) whilst others of us do what we do all year-round. Summer swimming is both a pleasure and a privilege.  But it involves the recruitment of some different qualities to those practised in the cold, dark winter months:  as the weather gets warmer tolerance and equanimity are the order of the day. It came up in conversation earlier today and she was of course right:  there is space for everybody.  Plenty, in fact. Yet, somewhere between June and July, something changes; suddenly it somehow feel like it comes at a premium.  Letting go of expectations and taking an open mind with me into the water is always helpful.  I'm not there to prove anything.  I'm just getting on with it, and getting another swim in.  I tend to get...

The sun had put its hat on. And it was as though everyone came out to play. The Lido was hectic. I'm not sure why this took me by surprise. It was the first Saturday morning that the temperature could lure out even the most part time of swimmers. I am anything but a part time aquatic enthusiast. But I mistimed this swim by a mile. As I surveyed the chaos, two other regulars (already sensibly swum out) greeted me and we remarked upon the influx of wetsuit clad 'seals' who have most likely only now emerged from warmer climes (indoor heated pools).  I almost talked myself out of the swim. I'm so glad I didn't; I exited the chatter rather abruptly and quickly got changed. Before getting in, I checked in with a friendly lifeguard I have come to know over the less clement months during which I've swum length after length, week in week out. She observed how little 'etiquette' was on display in the water, and I resolved to simply see how it wen...

I have had a cold since Boxing Day. Having been celebrating my apparently indestructible immune system in the lead up to Christmas, I fell at the first hurdle and have been limping ever since.  My friend and colleague Sarah tripped on New Year's Eve and fractured her fifth metatarsal.  Our workshop could not be better timed... 'Shattered but still whole' has been something of a mantra for me at different times:  the challenges life throws at us can often feel to shatter the bodymind, mindfulness has helped me to remain connected to a sense of wholeness, come what may. The opportunity to practice alongside others is always a privilege.  Yesterday's workshop which we had given the title 'Let it Begin with Me' at the dawn of the new year was a particular pleasure, and I enjoyed the opportunity to reflect on what we do when we set our intentions - both for our practice and beyond. Intentions, like seeds, are what we plant, in the service of an eventual yi...

Birthdays are important.  Mine included.  Tho' it falls precariously between Christmas and New Year in recent years I have thrown caution to the wind and marked this thing called the ageing process on or close to the day itself trusting that whomsoever should be there will be there. And so it was this year...  I celebrated my birthday amongst family and friends.  It was a lovely evening during which we shared good food, yummy cakes, and laughter.  Sitting around a large oval table were 18 very important people, each of whom has played a significant part in making the last year a special one. When seeking to gather a group for such a purpose, one must be wise to the fact that life happens and plans change:  I was not to know exactly how many people would be attending until the day, and that was fine.  There are things that merit worrying about.  This was never to be one of them.  For things, I have found, more often than not, work ...

Time is a strange thing.  We know how long a minute is, and how many minutes are in an hour, and how many hours make up a day, and yet a moment is so intangible.  Time is but a series of moments.  And moments pass at different speeds.  This year feels in some ways to have flown by.  And yet, when I survey it as I have done recently, I can acknowledge how much has happened.  How much has been achieved, and how much growth has occurred.  I wanted to be present with myself and to mark the day in a way that felt right for me, right now.  My feelings showed me the way and guided me as I allowed more moments to unfold, and to envelop and hold me.  I felt peaceful with the reality that it was a whole year ago that we finally said goodbye.  It was a long goodbye and, in many ways, it was last year that I was faced with the biggest loss:  the gap between the mother had known, and the woman I went to visit in those final months. ...

Teaching with Sarah was something I had been looking forward to for some time... The idea came about a little while back, when Sarah returned from India having completed her yoga teacher training. The theme came to us without much need for deliberation. Life has thrown plenty at both of us recently and we have found ourselves staying close (rather than clinging) to 'Let Go' as something of a mantra... For me, teaching on a Saturday involves letting go of several things: my typical routine gets adjusted. The same is I know true for most who attend the weekend workshops: we let go of things in order to come along. Attending is a choice. Choice involves sacrifice. And that's worth acknowledging.  The hatha based practice was just what I needed. My body welcomed it. And has reminded me of it since (thanks, Sarah!). Moving before sitting seems to work well for most bodies.  Ajahn Chah's statement makes sense:  If you let go a little, you will ...

I was delighted to be asked to prepare and deliver a 'taster' of mindfulness at a recent Family Forum hosted by the charity Missing People. If we can deeply understand the power of the mind;  how we can both injure and benefit this world, we see how practice is not a luxury, but an imperative.   It returns us to ourselves, to our sanity, to our true capacity. Geoffrey Shugen Arnold I have yet to attend an event organised by Missing People from which I depart feeling anything other than very deeply moved.  Being in the presence of those left behind when a loved one has disappeared is a difficult pleasure.   It is difficult in that it challenges me from the inside out.  Despite having been heavily involved in the development of the work the organisation does with families of missing persons in recent years, I have yet to develop any immunity from the shock that reverberates somewhere deep within me, as I contemplate what it means to f...

I am a meditator.  My meditation practice grows with me.  My meditation today will not be the same as my meditation yesterday.  And tomorrow it will be different, again. As long as we live, we should keep learning how to live.  So said Seneca.  I'm inclined to agree.   It is the greatest privilege of being human to truly meet ourselves.  It is also probably the greatest challenge.  It is, I believe, the journey of a lifetime. We all of us face the same questions:  Who am I?  Why am I here?  What's all this about? Some of us ponder these more consciously than others.  But, when we slow down and stop, this is what comes to stare all of us in the face, sooner or later... And this is where it gets tricky.  This is what it is to be human.  To be fragile.  To be vulnerable.  To be unclear.  To be unsure. We do not do well in uncertainty.  And yet we live in the deepest uncertaint...

Sybille is a terrific yoga teacher.  I was terrifically pleased to have booked to attend her workshop.  It really was a terrific place for me to be.   My hips and hamstrings always benefit from some focused attention.  All too often I forget how much gets held onto in this region of the body.   Sybille gently helped me to remember the importance of finding space in the stillness.  By bringing my body into stillness, I am able to find the space between thoughts.  

To learn how to teach is to re learn completely, and entirely.   You must first forget what you have assumed and let go of all that you think you understand.   To ask the right question you need to reconsider where it is that you stand.   As only from the correct angle, will your perspective show you that which you must surely grasp. A beginner's mind is a pre requisite... Just as one can compose colours, or forms,  so one can compose motions. Alexander Calder I am delighted to be spending time thinking about how best to share my passion and pass on to others the skills I have been lucky enough to develop.   Swimming is to me far more than an activity that keeps me fit.  To swim is to feel alive, and well.  For it is in the water that I feel best able to bring mind and body together.     I use the water to alter my mind, and swimming to enhance my mood.  It is, through movement in the wate...

The swimming lesson I attended this afternoon took me right back to basics, on my back.  In breaking down my 'technique', I was able to feel, immediately, how much more difficult I have been making it for myself.   I swim, firstly, to relax.  This afternoon, I learnt how much tension I take with me into the pool.  I carry it (like most people, I was reassured to be told) in my neck and, as a direct consequence, swimming has become (I now realise) something of a battle, whether I'm swimming on my front, or my back. There is something different about re-learning backstroke:  it highlights the bad habits I have gotten into very clearly.  You cannot help but notice when you're head is submerged, and you're gulping pool water. The mis-alignment is particularly pronounced when you're on your back, meaning that I came away from the 3.5 hour workshop with some key learning points I will be packing to take with me down to the pool tomorrow.   ...

I enjoyed Ruby's new show.  I particularly enjoyed her 'take' on what it is that we are apt to do to ourselves, and how mindfulness represents something of a practical (and cost effective!) remedy - not to the challenge presented by living life on life's terms, but to the additional suffering we cause ourselves through the less helpful habits of mind we are very good at mindlessly repeating over and over again (just in case this time it might turn out different), engraining them ever more deeply.  Her neurochemistry presentation was accessible and fun.  What mindfulness meditation offers us is an opportunity to temper the fight-flight reflex that gets all too often triggered all too easily in the stressful demanding lives and which (because we suffer with the disease of busy) we are none too effective at turning off.  "We are not equipped for this century, it’s too hard, too fast, and too full of fear; we just don’t have the bandwidth. Our brains can’t t...

Our relationships with the work we do are a subject to enter the therapy room with great regularity.  For many of us, how we are doing in our work has a significant bearing on how we are doing overall.  Hardly surprising, given the emphasis placed on work as a facet of our identities and the inescapable fact that, due to the fact we have bills that need paying, most of us tend to spend the majority of our waking hours at our places of work.   I am fascinated by the impact that how we employ our time has on us, and remain committed to exploring ways in which we can reduce stress, promote resilience and enhance creativity.  This deep-seated interest is something I hold as something more than an academic curiosity:  I am constantly thinking about wellbeing as a holistic working concept, and hope to share my observations and learnings as widely as possible, as often as I can.   I do this in my therapy practice, and in my mindfulness consultancy teach...

...finding joy in the ordinary; t aking pleasure in the simple things, like finding myself smiling whilst walking to the underground station. At the beginning of the year, I made a note to myself, to allow myself enough time to walk, when the weather permits, rather than getting the bus.   More often than not, the weather is not so inclement that I cannot walk.  It is just that I tend to leave insufficient time, thus robbing myself of the opportunity to spend 15-20 minutes outdoors before descending onto the Northern line. The walk, whilst not the most interesting, creates a spaciousness.  It is an opportunity to shift gears, and turn my attention inward, to notice where it is that I am at that particular moment.  Taking some time to see the sunshine, and feel the breeze on my face is like a dose of 'contentment'.   There are few people for whom the longer daylight hours do not positively impact.  At this time of year, it is not uncom...

Swimming is my medicine.  It's as simple as that.  I got back in the pool following a traumatic incident that sent my body into shock in 2010.  The pool became far more than a body of water:  it was the site of healing at a physical, mental and emotional level. I didn't think about it:  I couldn't.  I just swam.  I wasn't counting laps, or even time; I made my way to the pool and felt my way through the water. Nearly 5 years on, I'm still swimming.  I try to prioritise time spent in the pool.  It is part of my essential maintenance.  Last week I swam three times.  Each swim was different.  No two swims are ever the same but some are more memorable than others.  These days, a great many of my swims are 'good':  they enable me to switch gears, and let go of whatever I might need to. Just occasionally, I get into the pool and, within the first 3 or 4 lengths know it's going to be a 'great' swim.  These...

I meant it when I said that it was a privilege to be there last night.  It is always a privilege to have an opportunity to share about something that has, for me, not simply been life changing.  I hold mindfulness responsible for saving my life.  On more than one occasion. Cate, the Founder of PUSH, and I had our first conversation about the role of mindfulness at a bootcamp some time back in 2013.  PUSH was not yet conceived of, but several seeds were sown.  The fruits of which are now being devoured by the first participants taking part in the UK's first ever re-bootcamp! Mindfulness has come to feature so prominently in my life:  personally, and professionally.  Not a day goes by that I am not reminded of the importance of my practice, and if life gets in the way of my practice, no matter how briefly, I know I'm in trouble.    There are no dramas or crises of the magnitude that once used to be a regular feature of my s...

We've launched!  It's jolly exciting and the result of no end of hard work by the Team headed up by Cate whose brilliant brainchild PUSH Mind and Body is now up and running.   I was greeted this evening by a group of very tired but nonetheless charming clients who are participating in this week's inaugural re-bootcamp.  It is the first of its kind, and we're kinda proud of the truly holistic USP. PUSH is not your average bootcamp.  Far from it.  The difference is in the attention to detail that has been paid to the recipe which makes, we think, for a great formula.  PUSH combines high intensity training with nutrition, coaching and mindfulness. And that's where I come in...  This evening's talk was an opportunity to share a little about the journey I have been on since learning mindfulness, and subsequently training to become a teacher.   It's a great fit:  mindfulness is on offer in this context, as a sealant of everything e...