The Reward is the Journey

It's a peculiar time of year.  I find myself getting swept up in amidst a throng I am not entirely sure I'm ready for.  Most of the world seems preoccupied, inhabited by an alarm, a panic, a countdown.   Christmas is coming.  Yes, that's right.  There is a week until Christmas Eve.  And part of me wants to say, and so what?   This year has brought with it a great gift.  Clarity.  I can see more clearly what it is that, just for today, matters to me.  I know, I think better than I did before, what it is that I stand for.  And what it is that I value.   I am reminded this week of the struggles that so many face during the hype-ridden season.   I will, I know, spend a fair amount of time over the coming days discussing with different clients strategies to survive the holidays.  For the bright lights and loud music are not a recipe for fun for everyone, and nor is the opportunity to spend extended periods o...

Losing a parent is something that we can not, I think, ever be fully prepared for.  Even an expected death brings with it a maelstrom of emotions which themselves take time and energy, and need space. Our relationships with those who brought us into the world are beautifully complex.  The feelings we hold in relation to our parents usually run deep.  The process of mourning such a loss is an important one, and in my brief experience, I have come to understand the importance of expressing my thoughts and feelings.  Finding spaces to do this openly has been a tremendously valuable, if not crucial, part of a healing process I am in the midst of. What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose.   All that we love deeply becomes part of us. Helen Keller My goodbyes started some time ago.  My mother, as I knew her, began to fade earlier this year.  Like a string of Christmas fairy lights with a dodgy fuse or twisted wiring, the bu...

I was touched to be asked to accompany some dear friends to a local hospice's carol service.  I am so glad I went.  This special carol service is an opportunity to remember those who are no longer with us.  It was dedicated to the hospice's specialist nursing team who do sterling work providing compassionate end of life care to the inpatient and outpatient community they serve.  Whilst my mother did not directly benefit from this hospice's care, as a family we will never forget the tremendous tailored package she received whilst still living at home from a similar hospice in recent years.  My heart sang out the words of carols I have known since I was small, in the same church I attended with my family when I was small.  I felt a sense of connection with the community we were then part of, and valued the opportunity to return and rejoin at this most significant juncture in my experience. We stood together.  We lit candles together.  We wa...

I now know that whoever it was that described being with someone in their final moments as a privilege was absolutely right.  A week ago I did not have the experience to understand fully the meaning of the statement. We don't come into this world alone...  This passing thought brought with it some clarity that to my reflections as I paused awhile to consider my decision to be present at a loved one's death.  To be there.  To really be there.   Now, I have no choice but to see with your eyes, so I am not alone, so you are not alone. Yannis Ritsos I was there, and I'm glad I was.  It was something I wanted to do.  I honoured she who gave me life, by being there as hers ended.  I hope it brought her the comfort I think I gained by being there.   Death is something that I spend a lot of time thinking about.  Wearing my professional hat I have amassed and percolated some knowledge of the different psychological theories relati...

Breathing is one of the most important principles in Pilates.  But the Pilates breath is a different one: lateral breathing is an art I have yet to master.  You breathe out when you're exerting energy.  I find I need to exhale a lot. Pilates is a fitness system that was developed in the early 20th century and gets its name from its pioneer, German-born Joseph Pilates.  There is a large following worldwide, especially in the US (where Pilates lived, developed and taught his method) and the UK.   In his book 'Return to Life through Contrology' , Joseph Pilates presents his method as the art of controlled movements, which should look and feel like a workout (not a therapy).  If practiced with consistency, Pilates improves flexibility, builds strength, develops control and endurance in the whole body.  These are my aims.  Pilates puts emphasis on alignment, breathing, and developing a strong powerhouse, whilst improving coordination and bala...