In every end a new beginning?

"Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine." (Robert C. Gallagher)

Endings are sometimes more important than beginnings. Endings may also be beginnings in disguise in the unending cycle that is life. Many of us struggle with endings. We may have had negative experiences, traumatic endings. Abrupt, unforeseen, unexpected and unwanted endings. Endings may prompt an escape reflex. Some of us have a history in which endings have been so appalling that it might seem easier to run, avoid or sabotage in order to avoid a formal, acknowledged, honoured ending.

The end of therapy presents an enormous challenge. It can often be around for a long time before it actually occurs, and the process, if allowed to unfold, can be profound and significant. Within it lies the potential for a reparative experience; something new and different, but there is a risk to be taken.

Within my approach around endings is a very tangible focus characterised by action. I endeavour to achieve this with my clients as a product of various developments as a result of our work together which might be summarised as self acceptance, momentum towards change and self confidence. These are not arrived at simply or by accident - they are the products of a sustained and productive relationship in which a client realises their goals and as a result of the psychological adjustments along the way, a client may be able to take meaningful and self directed action looking forward.

With each therapeutic ending, unexpected or planned, I find myself taking stock as to how I have been affected by the experience of working with an individual, and what I am learning from my clients. With these probing questions in mind, I strive to remain fully present with each encounter.

I like to honour endings. It feels important to acknowledge and celebrate a shared journey. It needn't take the form of anything grand, but there is dignity in two human beings recognising what it is that they have co-created. I wish my clients well, as they move into the next chapter of their lives and I into mine. Sometimes our paths cross, but often I will never know what happened next...

Perhaps "life is not so much about beginnings and endings but muddling through the middle..." (Anna Quindlen)

Comments

Table. Apple. Penny.

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The Reward is the Journey

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