I was reminded recently of the importance of ritual and the role that it can play in remembering. This caused me to think some more about what it is that we do in remembering, and our desire to reminisce and reconnect with earlier experience.
Most of us have performs rituals at different times. Some of these may be more formal, and conscious than others but, as human beings, I believe we like what rituals offer us.
Most of us have performs rituals at different times. Some of these may be more formal, and conscious than others but, as human beings, I believe we like what rituals offer us.
"Ritual is necessary for us to know anything."
Ken Kesey
A ritual is a set of actions, which are performed mainly for their symbolic value. A ritual may be performed on specific occasions, or at the discretion of individuals, or communities. We may come from families that observe occasions or achievements in particular ways. How are birthdays celebrated, for instance?
We may have observed communities other than our own engage in rituals that are unfamiliar and therefore intriguing to us. Have you been on holiday and found yourself noticing how the locals do something that seems vastly different to what goes on back home?
Rituals may be performed by individuals, groups, or entire communities. They can happen in arbitrary places, or in places especially reserved for this purpose; either in public, in private, or before specific people. A ritual may be restricted to a certain subset of the community, and may enable or underscore the passage between religious or social states.
"Ritual is the passage way of the soul into the Infinite."
Algernon Blackwood, 'Sand'.
We perform rituals for a wide variety of reasons. For some, rituals comprise an aspect of religious obligation. For many more of us, I would suggest we perform rituals in order to satisfy our spiritual or emotional needs. Rituals serve important purposes in this way. They strengthen social bonds, and can entail social and moral education. The performance of a ritual may include a demonstration of respect or submission. It may be a statement of one's affiliation and therefore represent an aspect of identity. Through ritual, we may obtain social acceptance or approval for some event. Sometimes we employ ritual simply for its own sake - and the enjoyment we derive from it.
Rituals have featured in almost all known human societies. Alongside worship and sacramental purposes, rituals have been used to acknowledge and celebrate the rites of passage of certain societies. Rituals continue to be used at every stage of human existence, and many activities that are ostensibly performed for concrete purposes, are loaded with purely symbolic actions prescribed by regulations or tradition, and thus partly ritualistic in nature.
Rituals do not necessarily involve anything mystical. We all of us most likely have rituals - things we do to prepare ourselves for occasions... Ways in which we like to mark particular events, or achievements... We perform rituals without even knowing it. Everyday common actions, like shaking hands or saying hello may be termed as rituals.
A few years ago I undertook the Hoffman Process.* It was a recent reunion that prompted me to think back to the many rituals that feature as part of this 8 day residential program. Meeting other graduates in the context of a formal reunion entailed a powerful reminder of the powerful process that we had all, at different times, been guided through. I was aware of a tremendous sense of belonging, reminded of my membership by the presence of ritual that was familiar to everyone there present.
In this way, rituals are more than habits. They are conscious attempts we make, often in our quest for a sense of belonging, or identity. We may at different times engage in rituals to define or differentiate ourselves.
Rituals help us feel safe. The give us an opportunity to create constants amidst the inevitability of change. They remind us of the past, and provide us something to hold on to while the world around us is in flux. They aid us by giving us a sense of the things we do in fact have some control over. In this way, ritual can provide both comfort and containment.
"We seek to find peace of mind in the world in the word, the formula, the ritual. The hope is illusion."
Benjamin Cardozo
The Hoffman Process is an eight-day intensive residential course of personal discovery and development. Held in a secluded country retreat in the UK, Ireland and abroad, the Process allows you to examine and better understand your life and reveals why you behave the way you do. Published scientific research has also demonstrated the long-term positive effects that the Hoffman Process has had on relieving depression and anxiety. To date, more than 70,000 people around the world have used the tried and tested Hoffman techniques to improve their quality of life and restore their relationships with friends and family. Information evenings are held monthly for anyone interested in finding out more about the Process:
"You Can Change Your Life: A Future Different from Your Past with the Hoffman Process", Tim Laurence (2004).In 1969 Bob Hoffman developed the principles of the process that bears his name. In 1972 he put them into practice. Initially a thirteen week program, in 1985 these principals became an intensive eight day residential seminar known as the Hoffman (Quadrinity) Process. The process explains why you behave the way you do and will help you gain control of your own life. The four major components of the process are as follows: (1) awareness (2) expression (3) forgiveness and (4) new behavior.
Hoffman believed that the blocks in our lives (which stifle creativity and success) could not be cast aside merely by talking out our problems to a therapist, but must involve the four essentials of his process. He realized that people must heal emotionally and that this involves compassion for ourselves and our pasts. The Hoffman Process offers psychospiritual transformation and helps a person develop (perhaps for the first time) a sense of self that does not rely on others.
Underpinning the Process is the premise that most of our behavioural patterns emerge due to our early childhood experience, and our relationships with our parents or caregivers. If old hurts are still limiting our lives, it is because old reactions stick around unless we do something to rid ourselves of them. The idea is that by emotionally revisiting and reliving these difficult times we can release blocked energy that has maybe been held in as fear, anger or depression.
Step 1 - Awareness - This initial step in the Hoffman Quadrinity Process is about recognising where we are now versus where we want to be. Participants are guided through a process to uncover their (unhelpful) habitual patterns, and identify the roles they may have adopted which may be holding them back. These patterns are viewed and regarded as strategies we've adopted in order to cope. They are the masks we've been wearing. They are not inherently bad, and are not indicative of any failing or weakness. They may not be useful or skillful to us today: if we act a role all the time, it may become a prison.
We can become aware of these patterns and traits by identifying situations in which we give our power to other people. Through this process, we can learn to respond to situations rather than react to them. Throughout the Process great emphasis is placed on deciding how we'd really like our lives to be and how we feel when we visualise our ideal. Free writing and visualisation are both used to assist in the process of enhancing awareness. Participants are encouraged and supported to pretend we are where we want to be, and to begin acting 'as if'. When we see only negatives in ourselves and our lives, our energy resources are easily depleted. Practising the opposite, enhances self belief and propels us towards what it is that we most desire. The Process works from the inside out, and invites participants to summon their spiritual side, in order to treat it like a new friend, with whom you might want to spend time each day.
Step 2 - Expression - To reclaim our power, it is necessary to express our old hurts and resentments. What we repress emotionally for too long eventually shows up in our bodies as dis-ease. During the Process, you are guided back to your formative experiences, and supported to relive the hurtful parts of it. All of this is done in a very safe environment, in the presence of extremely skillful facilitators who hold the group process. Painful old negative feelings are amplified, in order to see very clearly that these are learned, rather than things we were born with.
The next stage in the Process involves a dedicated opportunity to vent one's anger. Anger is to be regarded as a friend, and a very useful emotion. Through the Process I came to learn the benefits of releasing anger appropriately, and thoroughly. Participants are asked to commit to do whatever it takes to mobilise their anger, before expressing it. Rituals feature prominently, as the transition from past, into the present, and looking ahead to the future is highlighted. The roots of old patterns are seen more clearly, and psychological, behavioural, emotional and spiritual liberation is both possible and realistic. Boundaries are built, distinguishing ourselves from our generational inheritance, and the walls from which these are constructed are cemented with compassion. The product is the freedom to be one's true self.
Self forgiveness is a crucial component of the work. Only be forgiving ourselves for our past mistakes and foibles can we start afresh. Through the Process, individuals come to recognise the lifelong differences between our emotional and intellectual aspects (our thinking and our feeling). Ultimately, to live more harmoniously, we must balance the needs of our emotional side with those of our rational side. These two internal aspects of ourselves compete with one another and cause us inner conflict. It is this conflict that gives rise to the familiar voices we're programmed into and which give us doubt, self criticism and other injurious and distorted beliefs. The Process is designed to help individuals change themselves and bridge this gap by connecting to their inner intuitive wisdom.
Step 4 - New Behaviour - To live life fully it is necessary to feel. Changing our belief systems can ensure that we don't repeat our past history. Old fears can be transformed into courage and our shame can become self-respect. When we really feel, we are able to experience the "big five" emotions - joy, anger, fear, grief and love.The Process is about first changing yourself and how you perceive things to be. Once you do that, it is possible for you to change your life. Instead of rejecting present experiences as bad or unnecessary (guilt, anxiety, anger), we are taught to accept them and learn from them. Along the journey, you work with kindred spirits and there is mutual support in abundance. By coming to recognise the ghosts of our past, we are better able to avoid self-sabotage driven by fear. You are given tools which make it far less likely that old patterns of behavior dictate your present and future. The greatest assets we have are our intellect, and our emotions which can provide us with valuable warnings, if we permit them to.
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