The Reward is the Journey

Spending extended periods in silence, gives rise to different things.   There is something rather special about coming into silence, particularly whilst remaining around other people, sharing a silence, and the commitment thereto.   For me, it can often also serve as a reminder of the noise in my mind, the crashing and banging as my crowded thoughts jostle for space and priority.   Slowing down, and consciously attempting to bring stillness within can often have the opposite effect, at least for a period, and I have been reminded over the past few days of the importance of welcoming whatever it is that I happen to come across in my endeavours.  

Joining a group, whose membership comprises great variety in terms of background and experience, from all over the world, is a joy and a privilege.   The compassion with which we meet one another is, for me, never more apparent than in the laughter we share as we acknowledge our struggles, and foibles as human beings.   Whilst we are all striving, and ‘doing’, as we share our experiences I am both humbled and reminded that we are, before anything else, ‘being’ to the best of our ability.   Alongside the humour is a profound reminder that we identify with one another, which shatters any illusion of isolation that can sometimes develop when we practice on our own.   I am reminded of the added value of group, and community experience, and feel comforted to have literally ‘re-connected’ in this way.   Our days are largely, but not exclusively silent, and are punctuated by themselves beautiful moments which, to my mind, exemplify as much as the formal practice, our ...

I spend much, if not most, of many of my days sitting.   Added to this, I tend to sit on the same chairs, in the same rooms.   Sitting has become something I do so often that it has probably become largely automatic.   Being invited to come to sit carries with it a novelty, and a spaciousness into which I can bring both embodied intention and intentional embodiment.  

Surrounded by other practitioners, on a retreat I know I am not alone in entering this spirit of inquiry which, paradoxically, makes it more comfortable to be with myself, and my experience and thereby facilitates the emergence of answers which may well be more authentic than those I could conceive of using my more readily accessible intellectual and conceptual mind that is somehow on-line much of the time and often in the foreground.  Hello me.  Hello world.  Returning somewhere I've not yet been to There is something extraordinary and almost mystical about the power of the experiential.   Whilst the practices are familiar, I can, by making a conscious choice, give myself a new, fresh and different experience, quite unlike anything that I have ever encountered previously.   This time, this practice, this moment and this breath are themselves unique and impossible to replicate.

Being on retreat is a little like entering a bubble.   I find it helpful to remind myself that the contents of the bubble are a matter of choice, and I have the ability to decide what it is that I surround myself with.   As humans, we have evolved wonderful minds with great capacity to do all kinds of things.   This is a great thing, and a terrible thing.   Whilst we have developed an ability to thrive, we are also the architects of some of our most awful suffering.   Within the context of a retreat, I am more open and receptive to the invitation to come into the now.   I can put my diary, and tendency to plan ahead aside for a few days, and bathe in the fact that I have all I need for the day ahead, something which is profoundly reassuring and nurturing in and of itself.   I can trust that my needs will be met, and that I will most likely be better attuned to them than I would were I rushing around, imagining that I’m doing everything most efficiently...

As a mindfulness teacher I remain an eternal student, for we never ‘arrive’ at enlightenment, though we may continually pursue a deeper and richer practice.   Going on retreat is a tremendously rewarding way to do this, entering an environment dedicated to rigorous practice and lively learning.   For me, there is something particularly special about a residential, arriving somewhere in which there is literally nowhere to go, and nothing to do, beyond entering into a different mode, with a deliberate shift of gears, mental and physical.    A week long retreat is somewhat of a luxury, as well as a challenge, and requires a degree of preparation and subsequent ‘arrival’.   The first day is an opportunity to do just this, and having travelled to somewhere new and unknown and be in the company of a group made up of likeminded, though unknown fellow travellers, there is much excitement, and curiosity, and a feast for the mind as it goes about its usual business of...

A recent trip to the pool reminded me of the importance of tolerance, letting go and acceptance.  Just as there are different ways people 'do' their recovery, people have different ways to enjoy the water.  Mine happens to be swimming.  Up and down, ideally with a lane to myself.  Others prefer to jump and jive about in the water.  Aqua is a keep-fit class that takes place from time to time in the pool I like to swim at.  It's not for me to judge what goes on in the lane beside me (or, as is more usually the case, the greater part of the pool that gets reserved for the class).  Continuing to swim amidst the ripples and waves that their athletic aquatics create is a challenge, but one that is made all the easier when I keep the focus on myself and my breath, and remember that swimming, like recovery, is better when I'm kind to myself and to others.  Time passes more quickly, and I get much more done.  The 'ri...

Nearly six months ago I finally approached my GP about my knee.  It had been bothering me for some time, and didn't seem to be getting any better of my own accord.  I'm no longer in any pain, but it's still a little troublesome from time to time, and I have had to make several small lifestyle adjustments because of it.  Having attended my first outpatients appointment, during which x rays were taken and reviewed, I recently returned to hospital for an MRI scan.  The imaging suite's newly installed Siemens Magnetom was awesome and the respect with which I was treated and care I was given left a lasting impression.  The appointment was a humbling reminder of something I have perhaps, as someone fortunate enough to have had pretty good physical health, taken for granted.  The NHS is, in my opinion, an incredible resource.  During my appointment it dawned on me that I had access to state of the art science delivered with first class service.  Whe...

" Our past is like a footprint. It only confirms we were there. No burden on our future does it bear."  Jeb Dickerson It struck me recently that we are all of us more than our pasts.  We are not who we have been, or where we've been and we are certainly not the things that we have experienced.  All of these are perhaps aspects of ourselves today, and that is precisely the point, for I believe very strongly that we are ever evolving, and constantly in flux, changing and growing.  That's partly why I do the work I do - in the belief that we have the potential for infinite change.  Our possibilities are limitless.  We are, I think, both where we've been and what we've seen, and where we're headed and what we want to see on the journey in front of us.  Whenever somebody reaches out and comes to a first appointment, it feels important to spend as much time exploring what's happened so far, as what they'd like to happen next.  We are nothing if we ...

Shrek the Musical didn't quite live up to the over promoted expectations that had been created; Betwixt far exceeded anything I could imagine and my toes are still tapping from Fela! For me, simply living in London is reason enough to prioritise getting to the theatre; it's on my door step, and I try to keep my finger on the pulse when it comes to what's on. Recently, I've been to more musicals than usual and experienced three very different shows, each of which have left a lasting impression. "I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being."   Oscar Wilde I had not previously encountered the swamp dwelling green ogre, and whilst designed with a younger rather theatre-goer in mind, the audience were certainly entertained by the thoroughly original (albeit, not for me, something I'd queue to see again) story which, from my perspec...