Who was it that helped you get here?

Benign characters are those very special individuals we meet along our way who make sure we get to where we think we’re headed, or point out to us that a different way might in fact be better.  They are the people who ensure that the reward really is the journey.

be.nign

[bih-nahyn] adjective

1.  having a kindly disposition; gracious: a benign king.
2.  showing or expressive of gentleness or kindness:  a benign smile.
3.  favourable; propitious:  a series of benign omens and configurations in the heavens.
4.  (of weather) salubrious; healthful; pleasant or beneficial.
5.  Pathology: not malignant; self-limiting. 

I have been fortunate and feel blessed having come into contact with a great many wise travellers who at critical times have held me, guided me, and supported me in my journey.  Some of them have helped me when I’ve encountered cross roads, and dead ends along the way.  A great many of them have been more important than they will ever know. 

As part of my assessment, when I first meet a new client, I always enquire who their benign characters were.  I don’t believe it’s ever any coincidence that someone walks into my room, and oftentimes I acknowledge this very fact, asking them who it was that helped them to get to this point in their life. 

Benign characters are to be found in the most unlikely of places.  Commonly they are not members of our immediate family.  They say you can pick your friends, but not your family, and the same is true of these gems.  They tend to shine brightly, but are at the same time invisible – we have to become skilled at recognising them, through their characteristics which are generally those we aspire to, and wish to emulate within ourselves. 

They may be with us for a short while, or accompany us down the road for a while.  It is not the longevity of the relationship but the quality of it; these are the people we feel safest with, those who have encouraged, supported and loved us unconditionally and in so doing inspire and motivate us to pursue and achieve our most worthwhile goals. 

It is these individuals that pick us up when we are down and who ensure that we continue to thrive, even in the most unfavourable of circumstances.  They are, in this way, the wind beneath our wings and the support behind the scenes.  Whoever it is, they have shaped us into the people we are today.  We are where we are because of their presence, seen and unseen.  Unfortunately, it is these characters we are most apt to forget when we reach the top of the peaks we wouldn’t have considered embarking upon were it not for the map they studied with us, and the boots they lent us.  Which is why I ask the question...

"The heart has reasons that reason does not understand." 

Jacques-Bénigne Bossuet (1627-1704)

French bishop and theologian, renowned for his sermons and other addresses.