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Missing but not Forgotten

I was exactly where I was meant to be this evening.  I am so glad I attended the Carol Service at St. Martin-in-the-Fields to remember those who are missing this Christmas.  It was an extremely moving service, and I felt simultaneously humbled and privileged to be in the presence of so many families who have been left behind when someone they love disappeared and who continue to live in limbo.  


There is something very special about the Church that stands on the edge of Trafalgar Square; it was where the work of Amnesty International was conceived of, and where the charity Shelter was born.  It is a haven for people from all over the world, and is a place of peaceful welcome, and tremendous inspiration.  The surroundings are both wonderfully impressive, yet somehow 'homely'.  The two choirs whose voices supported our own, were magnificent and reminded me of the power of the collective.  There was, for the precious hour of the service, a true sense of peace and calm amongst a group whose lives are, I suspect, anything but as they search tirelessly, and are left with the questions one family member so movingly articulated:  where is he..?  how is he..?  is he..?   


It is at Christmas that those missing are most missed.  Like birthdays, and the anniversary of the disappearance, families want to be with their loved ones, or at least be in contact with them.  Not knowing what has happened, for months, years, decades, cuts deep into the heart and soul, challenging even the strongest faith and deepest conviction. 


The readings by Brenda Blethyn OBE and Sir Trevor McDonald OBE, by Senior Police Officers and by the families of those who are missing brought tears to eyes, and sent shivers down spines.  They struck a chord with which anyone with a heart could, I think, resonate. 


In the presence of HRH The Duchess of Gloucester, we filled the pews, in the nave and gallery.  Plenty were standing, and together we lit candles to remember those families who will this Christmas feel bleakly incomplete.  Bleakly, but not without hope.  For unlike our candles, their hope is never extinguished.  They don't and can't know, until they do. 



In the meantime, I feel proud of the work that I am doing alongside Missing People to support the families of those who are missing, and am privileged to have had an opportunity to have conceived of the concept behind the intervention I have designed and started to implement on the Charity's behalf,  'Living Better when Living in Limbo' - a mindfulness based program for those left behind when someone disappears. 


Missing People offer a lifeline, in the form of their helpline which is staffed 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  You can help to ensure their incredible work continues, by donating something today.











The Great Eternal Silence
 
Missing in the darkness,
vanished without a trace,
with only the memories and photographs,
to fill an empty place.
 
Frequent prayer and fervent cries,
is there anyone there?
But the only sound
was the silent eternal fanfare.
 
For a long time
its deafening sound
subdued by a path
through lost and found.
 
Laughter and sorrow,
anguish and grief,
all the moments of a life
but with no relief.
 
Everything and nothing
one within and between all,
gentle, loving, pervading,
the eternal silence falls.

by Aquinas T. Duffy

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