The Road Less Travelled: that which is journeyed in company

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much

So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers
And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.

Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while, as it becomes clear for a great many individuals; it occurred to me that there was only so much work I could do 'on myself' by myself...
I had reached that point along the road where it was time to risk meeting A.N. Other. How, or when that might happen was not, I thought, something I could take any part in determining. So I didn't.

We encounter fellow travellers from time to time. Some we journey with for longer than others. Some we get distracted by, and end up taking detours or expeditions we could not have foreseen, didn't plan for, or need. Some people's company, no matter how brief, can so transform our journey and our experience of it that we feel blessed by the encounter.

I was pointed towards this poem by one such individual, and have been sharing it ever since with some of those I meet along the way. Oftentimes, we have had histories and experiences that have kept us small. Our wounds have taught us to stay independent, and our fears have coached us towards self sufficiency; we have avoided people, out of fear, and attempted to make our way through the world trusting no one (and particularly avoiding those who proffer assistance).

Entering into any relationship involves taking risks. The value of any investment can go up, as well as down. Opening one's heart, and entrusting its contents to another, is a challenge some of us will rise to faster than others. When the time is right, it may still feel like a risk, but a manageable one. As the saying goes, "When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear". Perhaps relationships are the classroom of the heart, and soul.

Comments

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