"We may run, walk, stumble, drive, or fly, but let us never lose sight of the reason for the journey, or miss a chance to see a rainbow on the way."
Unknown
Endings are important. This is true everywhere, but perhaps nowhere more so than in therapy. The end of a therapeutic relationship is something to mark. As individuals, we all have different ways in which we 'do' endings. Some of us would prefer not to do them at all. I have grown to rate them as highly as I do beginnings. As such they require care, and attention. I have learnt the importance of a planned ending. There are so many scenarios out there in the real world where we do not, as we cannot foresee endings. We experience their abruptness, their harshness, and lack any opportunity to reflect on what it is that has passed, or to maybe say goodbye. Therapy need not re-enact the pain that we experience elsewhere. We have the opportunity to do something differently, and I hold this particular prospect as a precious one.
I am regularly surprised by my clients. This, together with the wealth that I learn each and every week, is a blessing I cherish and wouldn't swap for any salary. No two weeks are the same. How could they be? I adore the variety of my week, working with different people in different ways but always somehow for the same end - working towards more comfortable and fulfilling lives.
Clients' journeys are their own. No two are ever identical, and I fear it would be a grave error were I to speak of an approach that I seek to employ in my work. I approach all those I come into contact with in a similar way, but do not claim to have a single approach. My training has taught me things which remain invaluable in the room, but without a rapport, I am likely to be about as useful as a chocolate teapot. I regard my responsibility to be to adapt to my clients and their presentations, and the likelihood of this happening in a manner that is productive and rewarding for both parties is what I try to discern during assessment.
"We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us."
Marcel Proust
I bear witness to the most inspiring of expeditions. I accompany individuals, couples and families who possess such incredible courage, to look deep within and dispel denial that may have become so comfortable and challenge the known to investigate the less certain. Destination unknown is as fabulous as it is terrifying. The reward is in the journey, and the end of the therapy is simply a station en route. Along the way there are plenty of opportunities to adjust one's view, by changing seats or even moving carriage. There are numerous platforms into which the train might pull, and therein lies the possibility to change trains altogether. Or perhaps take the coach, instead.
This week, I marked with a client the ending of a leg of her journey. We had planned it several weeks' ago, and both came to session with the knowledge that this might be our last meeting for a while. As she left my room, she gave me a plastic bag containing a beautiful miniature rose. Small, but perfectly formed. The gesture touched me deep within, and I accepted it without hesitation. To truly encounter a fellow human being, and travel even the shortest distance alongside them is an enormous privilege, and one I hope never to take for granted.
"We are not human beings on a spiritual journey.
We are spiritual beings on a human journey."
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

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