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Lost for words

Humility is a word that today carries a whole lot of meaning for me.  I used it and meant it towards the end of a workshop I was delivering this weekend.  I felt it, and powerfully.  I feel humbled sitting in the presence of families who have someone missing.  Their extraordinary and awful experiences throw into a different light so many of mine, both past and present, and I was conscious of the collective experience spoken to by a group of relative strangers, brought together by a horrific and harrowing reality none of them imagined, let alone expected. 
 
 
The workshop represents the completion of a series we have as a team delivered up and down the land.  Yet it stands for so much more.  As I found myself fumbling for words, which carried anything like the meaning I was searching for, I surrendered and allowed my heart to find its voice.  Sometimes words fall so far short, it is better to give up the battle altogether.  Why should I, who has thankfully never directly encountered missing, have the words?  How could I? 
 
I don't.  I have thought long and hard about the missing experience.  I have waded through the territory of missing, from an intellectual perspective and I have attempted to walk some few steps alongside those who live and breathe the experience.  Perhaps there are some experiences so dreadful we cannot ever fully appreciate what it is like that those who suffer them face.  I have learnt plenty, and felt even more.  I am not sure what now to do with all of this.  I am not convinced there is anything to be done.  Coming towards, and approaching difficulty head-on carries with it certain risks.  Especially when the scale of the difficulty defies comprehension. 
 
Somehow in the midst of yet another revelation of my own powerlessness, I feel anything but hopeless.  Today was a potent reminder that where groups are concerned, the whole is far more than the sum of its parts.  Today a community was brought together.  People from across the vast spectrum of backgrounds came together, united by something more important to them - someone they love is missing from their lives.  

 
 
Makin' my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass and I'm homebound

Staring blankly ahead
Just makin' my way
Just makin' a way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And wonder if you ever think of me

Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Livin' in your precious memory

Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight

I, I don't want to let you know
I, I drown in your memory
I, I don't want to let this go
I, I don't

Makin' my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass and I'm homebound

Staring blankly ahead
Just makin' my way
Just makin' a way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass us by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you tonight 
 
Various artists, 'A thousand miles' 
 
 
 
 
You are always on my mind
All I do is count the days
Where are you now?

I know I never let you down
I will never go away

I really wish that you'd stay but what can we do
All the days that you've been gone I dreamed about you
And I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home

No matter how far you are
No matter how long it takes him
Through distance and time
I'll be waiting

And if you have to walk a million miles
I'll wait a million days to see you smile
Distance and time, I'll be waiting

Distance and time, I'll be waiting
Will you take a train, to meet me where I am
Are you on your way?
I will never do anything to hurt you
I'll never live without you

I really wish that you would stay but what can we do
All the days that you've been gone I dreamed about you
And I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home

No matter how far you are
No matter how long it takes him
Distance and time,I'll be waiting
And if you have to walk a million miles
I'll wait a million days to see you smile
Distance and time
I'll be waiting

No matter how far you are
No matter how long it takes him
Distance and time, I'll be waiting
And you can walk a million miles
I'll wait a million days to see you smile
Through distance and time, I'll be waiting

Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

I'll be waiting
I'll be waiting
Through distance and time
I'll be waiting

You are always on my mind
All I do is count the days
Where are you now?
 
Alicia Keys, 'Distance and Time'
  

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