The Reward is the Journey

It had been in my diary for several weeks, and I was looking forward to seeing Ruby Wax's expose of the enduring stigma associated with mental health.  Rather like limescale that won't shift, or if it does, does so only temporarily, I feel that every opportunity to oust the skeletons from our metaphorical closets is to be celebrated.  So I sat up and listened.  I was moved by her honesty, and that of her family whom together presented a very real portrayal of their experience living alongside clinical depression, whether one's own, or that of someone you love.   "There is no manual that tells us how to live, we have to make it up as we go along." Alongside our shared belief in the efficacy of mindfulness practice in everyday life as an approach that has the power to stop depression (and a host of other difficulties) in its tracks, it is Ruby's commitment to the cause of breaking down the taboo that surrounds our mental health that resonated somewh...

Getting out on my bike and riding a few circuits of the park recently provided much needed reprieve.  After a long, hot and sticky day too much of which felt to have been spent in the four walls of my not at all air conditioned room (thank goodness for the rickety little fan that worked wonders), getting out into the expanse of beauty that is Richmond Park was exactly what both my mind and body needed.  And I was in good company.  There were quite a few fellow cyclists in either direction, enjoying the warmth of the sunshine, the beautiful views and the incredible sense of spaciousness the experience of which usually necessitates a far longer journey. I clocked up a fair few miles on my beloved single speed that evening and again the following day, when I returned for a rather more solitary cycle.  What I lacked in gear, I made up for in sheer enthusiasm, breathing in the fresh air, and enjoying my rather serene pace.  (I still managed t...

I was so surprised when she proudly told us that she didn't think she had ever let go of a single thing.  Confused too.  I had jumped to a conclusion that her serenity was a by-product of a life well lived guided by infinite wisdom.  I had, in short, elevated her to an untenably high position, sitting atop a pedestal, far removed from us mere mortals who sat in front of her listening to the Dharma talk she was giving.  She went on to explain...  Living more comfortably involves letting be, rather than letting go.  It is about living differently alongside that which we cannot control.  She described the museums of our minds, in which we need to create a different climate by not feeding those unhelpful thoughts that often plague us.  By letting it all be there, simply as it is, we need not identify with it. There is a paradox inherent in all this - the more aversive we feel towards anything, be it a thought,...

The beginnings of a slight snuffle put heed to my usual routine, and provided impetus for an evening more-or-less in front of the television.  This being somewhat of an unusual occurrence, I found myself rather awestruck by my viewing experience which, whilst comprising an apparently odd combination, seemed to possess a bit of a theme - that of resilience. Starting with none other than the awesome Victoria Pendleton:  Cycling's Golden Girl .  Golden by name, and well deserved given her credentials, but as I watched I found myself feeling increasingly concerned for this inspirational young woman who has anything but a sunny disposition and showed signs of being deeply troubled throughout the excellent documentary.  Her struggle would appear to have been lifelong and is against the toughest possible opponent:  herself.  Her longstanding rivalry with Anna Meares pales into insignificance against the battle she has with herself, each and every day....

Working for oneself has its pros and cons.  One of the challenges is finding the balance.  There is a time to work, and there is a time to not work.  Confusion about this seems prevalent amongst a particular demographic, and I have found myself thinking about the so-called work-life balance, and that oh so fine line that can at times seem dotted, or blurred.  There are those for whom this might make no sense at all.  An alien concept that can relate to not in the least.  But for many others, this is a serious issue.  Burnout is all too real, and must be taken seriously if it is to be avoided.  Many of us have become acclimatised to unhealthy levels of compulsive working, accomplishing and 'should-ing' with possible physical, emotional, social and environmental consequences.  As individuals, and as a collective, we are hitting the ceiling in terms of the amount of stress that we can handle.  Most of the major illnesses ...

Invitations were sent out many months ago following Chris’ famous proposal having completed his Atlantic crossing.   As big sister, Charlotte was to have an important part in proceedings.   And nothing could get in the way of that.   Not even breast cancer.   Least of all breast cancer. Out of our adversity, our strength is garnered and becomes realised.   The last seven months have comprised something of a rollercoaster.   Time has taken on a whole new dimension.   Life is not what it was.   It is precious.   It is sacred.   Emotions are not what they were.   They have been intensified, amplified, and are suddenly very real and very loud.   And that’s just from my perspective...   Looking through the window I do.   This story has no ugly sisters, but there is a destructive alien that has had to be put in its place which has taken more than a few fairy godmothers.   Thankfully, Charlotte is not sho...

It seems that the protracted inclement weather might well be stirring up kindnesses where one would least expect to find them.  Like Starbucks, for instance.  Yes, the notoriously commercialised wouldn't-piss-on-you-if-you-were-on-fire coffeehouse has a heart.  Or so I heard recently.  This story touched me, as a reminder that, just occasionally, humanity prevails.  Even in Chelsea... So, on her way to a meeting a dear friend of mine now drenched having been caught without umbrella and dressed for summer (that apparently missing season you'd be forgiven for forgetting we usually have between spring and autumn), is excited to discover that Starbucks is still open. Well, just.  It was a couple of minutes after 7 o'clock in the evening, but the barista welcomed her and took her order.  A double shot soy Macchiato.  After much fumbling in her overly large and overly full handbag, said friend realises that she has in fact l...

The IMAX with its brand new 20x26m screen was the perfect venue to see the brilliantly breath taking brand new Spider Man (in 3D).  It was as though we were in the movie, rather than at the movies.  I loved it.  Every minute.  All 136 of them.  The pro cast were fantastic.  As a Spider Man virgin, I was thrilled to get introduced to the characters and be privy to some background.  How Peter Parker (played by Andrew Garfield) became Spider Man (well perhaps Spider Boy, more accurately)... Watching him come up against Dr. Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans), his father's former partner whom one suspects knows more than he's letting on about the fate of Peter's father, I thought that the monster he becomes (something of a giant lizard that would not be out of place in Jurassic Park) bore many of the hallmarks of someone in active addiction. Addicted to power perhaps.  Entirely focused on destruction at any cost.  In Dr. Connors it was possible ...

Just occasionally, I nod off.  I think we probably all do.  I catch myself, and I'm awake once again.  From a Buddhist perspective, we spend much of our lifetime sleepwalking.  The awakened state is fleeting, and there is somewhat of a cycle as we awaken, and return to our slumbers.  Which is not to say that those waking moments are not precious.  The life well lived is a series of those moments in which we are fully awake.  The more of these we can string together, the better.  Noticing when we've drifted off is the starting point.  Discussing the development and sustaining of my practice recently, a further parallel between this and recovery generally dawned on me.  Just as with my practice, I maintain close proximity to my recovery program, whatever the weather.  Good days and bad days.  I practice, meditation and I practice, my program.  These are non negotiables.  Just like...

I love those little reminders that all is well.  That I am exactly where I am meant to be.  I have heard it said that there is no such thing as coincidence.  Einstein said that coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.  Well, whoever is writing the script, or directing the screenplay, I feel as though I'm in safe hands.  Right place, right time...  It certainly was.  Bumping into an old friend was exactly what I needed.  Subsequently catching up over supper was well overdue.  It reminded me that people come and go in one's life, but onto a few you should hold on.  Those who know us when we're growing up hold something very precious, that becomes all the more dear the older we get.  Baz Luhrmann put it so well in his epic 'Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen)'... Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.  The long term benefits of sunscre...

"What we call the beginning is often the end.  And to make an end is to make a beginning.  The end is where we start from."  T. S. Eliot It's that time, again.  Being somewhat of a perennial student this time of year means a number of things - exams, deadlines, and endings.  Not necessarily all three, and not always in that order.  This summer marks the end of a two year postgraduate program of study, for which I attended the final teaching block last week.  The experience of being part of a group is far from new.  The experience of being part of that particular group was novel.  Endings are funny things.  They sound so straightforward, but tend not to be.  Ever got to the final chapter of a book and found yourself slowing down, extending it, not wanting it to finish?  Finishing can be tricky.  I have experience of this from both sides of the room - as a client, and as a therapist.  I'...

If you can start the day without caffeine If you can sit quietly after difficult news If, in financial downturns, you remain perfectly calm If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles If you can see your neighbours travel to fantastic places without a twinge of jealousy If you can happily accept whatever is put on your plate If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong If you can take criticism and blame without resentment If you can face the world without lies and deceit If you can conquer tension without medical help If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it and fall asleep after a day of running around without a drink or a pill If you can always find contentment just where you are... ...You're probably a dog! A friend's wirehaired dachshund provi...