Starting over (again)

I was reminded, once again, that it is an inside job.  It never ceases to baffle me how quickly I am prone to forget.  I too have shelves full of books that claim to have the answers.  I've tried the fixes they prescribe.  I chase the dream, only to discover, as though for the first time, that are no short cuts. 

Whilst we have evolved in so many wonderful ways, we still know very little about the inner workings of the mind.  What we do know is that it takes a long time, and a lot of hard work, to re-wire patterns once they have become hardwired.  As creatures of habit, we like things becoming hardwired:  they enable us to process more, and quicker.  We do not engage with what it is that we are processing, thus freeing us up, to do more.  Efficiency is a priority for the modern brain.  But this comes at a cost.  We lose the ability to discern as effectively.  And so we are running on automatic.

Which might serve us well.  For awhile... 

Until it doesn't.  And we want to change.  

When you arise in the morning think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive, 

to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.  

Marcus Aurelius

Change starts from the inside:  if you want to change your psychology, change your physiology.  And this is why I meditate:  by changing the way in which I breathe, I can alter the way in which I perceive the world, thus enabling me to relate in a different, hopefully more positive, way.

Life will continue regardless whether I like it or not.  What happens in the world I inhabit can feel chaotic, and my thought patterns unmanageable.  What I retain power over is how often I come off-line, allowing my body (and mind) to drop into stillness and silence.  And from here, all sorts of things become possible.