The Reward is the Journey

After a very relaxed couple of days, it was brilliant to see the sun melting the most persistent patches of snow around the city.  I was immediately impressed by the Stedelijk's recently revised facade housing a new wing, which has is fondly known as the bathtub. The Stedelijk has, I understand, been transformed having been forced to close in 2004, due to poor maintenance and the lack of modern facilities, which meant that it did not meet today's exacting standards and was itself in need of a rebirth.  Amsterdam residents and culture hungry visitors alike were presumably thrilled when Benthem Crouwel architects who were awarded the tender (which cost Amsterdam city council a sobering €127m)  have completed the renovation and construction contract implementing their daring design and doubling the previous gallery space.  The The new Stedelijk boats an awesome 8000 m2 of exhibition surface area. ...

It was a brilliant question.  So brilliant in fact that I can't think why it hasn't occurred to me before.  When contracting with a client, particularly one who has not previously been 'in treatment', I might do well to offer a little health warning.  Therapy can bring stuff up.  Good therapy will bring stuff up.  What comes up is not always comfortable.  Sticking with the process is key.  Here are a few suggestions in relation to self-care between sessions. I guess there is something in here about taking time, to digest what may at first feel somewhat indigestible.  Just as one might take time to relax after a rich meal, the products of a lively, challenging or emotional appointment, deserve some space - to facilitate a settling process. We might think of a very abrupt transition back into the world beyond the therapeutic space as something similar to the symptoms of indigestion, or acid reflux - an uncomfortable and ...

And so my cinema inspired ramblings continue.  January has indeed been a feast for my eyes.  But this film touched me somewhere beyond the aesthetic, and visual.  I guess it might fall into the realm of the transpersonal, a word that makes occasional appearances in my vocabulary but splashes around without much style.  For me the transpersonal domain might well be equated with the spiritual life.  And spirituality feels, to me, to be the journey of a lifetime. I am comforted by the idea that we are, each of us, spiritual beings having a human experience.  And, somehow, for me, this movie spoke to this very directly.  I so appreciated the implicit suggestion that hovered in the subtext, that belief in whatever or whoever is capable of preventing the extinction of hope.  Hope having been highlighted as the ultimate power, and life force. I guess approaching the film's plot from a different perspective, it tells the story of a young man's e...

2013 is now well under way.  The new year feels distinctly less new, and there are not too many working days left of January.  So, how are those resolutions panning out..? I've always thought of January as somewhat of a clearing space - and tend to spend much of the fresh new year tidying away the old one.  I guess that comes, in part, with the territory of self employment, and the deadlines associated with the tax year.  But there's more besides.   I am in the habit of tying up loose ends at this time of year.  My annual reflections flow into the new year, as I bridge between one calendar and the next.  I allow this process which might previously have been curtailed by academic terms or other externally imposed deadlines, and enjoy living through it, with an openness and a curiosity that the freshness of spring seems to bring with it. January feels to have been a productive month.  Much has happened.  The old year has been t...

...is not a film for the faint hearted.  Some of it makes for nearly-impossible viewing.  That said, I think it will likely score pretty highly for filmography of motion pictures I see this year (yes, I know, it's only January).  I could not bear to think too much about the special effects, or the mechanics of making a film such as this - it was far better to sit back, and go with the flow.  This led to my feeling totally blown away, and utterly absorbed by the movie. As devastating and terrifying as the scenes were, there was something greater than the total wipeout of the paradise we saw in the opening shots, something deeper, and profoundly reassuring.  On leaving the cinema, I was connected to a sense that I had been reminded of the very best of human nature and resilience in the face of the worst and most dangerous of nature's atrocities.   The film might have been called The Unimaginable.  But it wasn't.  The tsunami arose from the ...

Training alongside fellow therapists who are, like me, passionate about their work with gender and sexual diversity clients always feels like a homecoming.  It's warm, and yet refreshing.  I value and relish every opportunity I get to think with others about gayness and queer folk with a view to serving their needs inside the consulting room.  It stems partly from the priority I place on ethical practice.  But it goes beyond this, too.   As a therapist, I take very seriously my own blindspots.  Education doubtless counts for something, but knowledge is not nearly as powerful as wisdom, and I am eternally grateful to all that I have learnt through the embodied teaching of those who have trained me at different times and in different settings.  As someone else put it so neatly; insight is but the popcorn, preceding the main attraction of relationality in the therapy room... Let's talk about sex... And what a way to 'do' training.  Jumpin...

Personal training suits me well.  I get there, I warm up, I work out.  It's a fast moving workout that I don't even have to think about.  I simply follow the instructions, and give it my best shot.  Repeating a circuit of exercises put together with my precise needs and strengths in mind, gives me a chance to put my energy where it counts the most.  I don't even have to think about the weight I'm lifting.  It really is a weight off my shoulders.  Then there's the motivation when I most need it, and the encouragement where my own resistance surfaces in the face of the resistance.  There's no competition, yet there's everything to prove: to myself.  It's the best incentive I have encountered yet. Therapy, done properly, is quite analogous.  The contract between a client and their therapist is remarkably similar.  There is a collaboration with a mutual aim, and within that several defined goals.  We work together to travel ...

The Enzian is a fabulous cinema.  I liked it the moment I saw it's welcoming weatherboard exterior, and dressing room style lights above the box office window.  And I hadn't even seen the seating arrangements.  4 floors of seating.  Recliners and 'Loveseats' at the very front, and then raked decks with comfy chairs around little tables, with menus on them!  An alternative theater indeed...  Go to the movies and get food to be enjoyed alongside the feature presentation sitting a a table with your friends.  Sometimes it's the simple ideas that really are the best. We arrived in good time to enjoy the trailers for forthcoming movies.  All 3 appealed, and have made it onto my would-like-to-see list.  We'll see...  The list is generally more extensive than the opportunities for cinema going, but my cinema membership helps. It felt apt, to be sitting with a dear friend 'the other side of the ocean' watching a film about the so-call...

The emotional impact of sorting through the personal belongings of someone you've loved after they've died is not to be underestimated.  The abundance of memory and association spurred by a trigger can be a rollercoaster-like journey.  A few small things, representative of a lifetime.  Dead, and empty of meaning without those precious memories.   "Memory of a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are,  the things you never want to lose."   The Wonder Years We are all so much more than our possessions.  This is never so true as when confronted by this unenviable situation.  Yet those tangible objects that belonged the person we loved and who is now gone can be so valuable in helping us to retain a connection to our memories.  Gone, but not forgotten.   Disasters that wipe away these objects can feel as catastrophic as the loss of someone whose smile we knew, and whose voice we heard so often.  Havin...

I loved Silver Linings Playbook.  It took me by surprise.  We spontaneously drove to the movie theater (note deliberate Americanization) and snuck in to a crowded auditorium a few minutes after the titles. There were several things that I liked about this movie about which there was something a little different.  It had a somewhat unusual story line, as we find the main character attempting to rehabilitate himself having graduated from a mental institution.   He is trying his best, and looking on the bright side.  He has swallowed some positive psychology, and it's serving him well.  It isn't rubbing off so easily on those around him.  Cue his parents, the comical duo composed of his adorable mother (Jacki Weaver), and laugh out loud funny father (Robert deNiro) who has himself at some time run into a bit of trouble with the law. The camera brings us right into the family home, and up close and personal with the dynamics that unfold before...

I have a smartphone.  I think most people do.  The question therefore is not whether our phones are smart, but whether we are.  I have phone-off days and weekends.  I may have even longer whilst on a Retreat.  When I'm on holiday, my phone is usually the last thing I want to look at.  I regularly leave my phone at home.  I like to think about my relationship with my phone from an attachment perspective, and strive to maintain a healthy attachment to it.   This week has been a good reminder of where my phone fits into my life.  I took a deep breath, fastened my seat belt, and switched off the data roaming facility.  Phones are useful.  That much is beyond doubt.  They offer security and peace of mind.  But they also present a challenge.  Connecting people (Nokia's strapline) does not necessarily equate with life being good (LG).  Getting closer (another Nokia pledge) comes with drawbacks. We of the di...

Orlando and its surrounding neighbourhoods have much to offer beyond Disneyworld.  I don't tend to go too long without a workout of some kind.  Today was no exception.  Chris put us through our paces.  He always does.  I have worked out with Chris on previous sojourns in Florida.  It's brilliant.  I have yet to find a London based Chris, but this year, I'm more motivated than ever to do so.  The combination of a super bright smile, and a thorough work out seamlessly tailored to individual goals is the ultimate package when it comes to exercising effectively.  Which we did.  Short, and sharp.  Hitting all the right spots.  Chris Challenger - Personal Training in Orlando, FL We're due to return tomorrow and could, if anything, have spent some more time stretching after our program which blasted upper and lower body, not forgetting the all important core.  It may be even more of a challenge with Mr. Challenger tomor...

Even having made the journey many times, and several times in recent years, for some reason the flight time between London and Orlando surprises me every time the Pilot announces it.  I'm not built to sit still for nine and a half hours.  Especially not in a central seat, inbetween two passengers both slightly larger than the BMI recommends. It is a long journey.  Not long when compared to the West coast.  Or Asia.  But when I flew to Hong Kong I had a two legged journey, stopping in Doha where I could at least stretch my legs, even if the terminal which was distinctly mid reconstruction did not prove terribly exciting.  It seemed even longer as we had turbulence to contend with.  The flight path across the Atlantic, and then down to Florida is notorious for jet streams.  And we seemed to hit several.  The bumpy bits were good preparation for those making it across the pond to meet Mickey for the first time, perhaps....

...was the order of the day.  It was brilliant to get out on my bicycle this morning.  And even better to meet Charlotte for three laps of the waterlogged Richmond Park.  We pedalled steadily, and I enjoyed every moment of it.  Even when the wind picked up after mid morning tea break, and catching the spray off her rear wheel.  I can't think of posterior I'd rather follow.  I always learn lots when we ride together.  I have lots to learn.  Following her up the inclines, and along the flats, I aspire towards her seemingly natural balance of pressure and cadence.  Right, left, right, left.    It was positively thrilling to don some slightly ill fitting thermal bib tights, and get out in the (very) fresh air.  Pure delight having felt confined to the spin studio for what has been too long.  Coughs and colds banned me from there too before Christmas.  Now, w...

And it was a very happy Christmas.  We found a most welcoming retreat in whose cocoon it felt as though we were far, far away from the hustle and bustle, the madness, mayhem and hype.  Christmas spirit was in abundance, and we enjoyed a peaceful and joyful affair.   Many pints were consumed.  Dihydrogen oxide tastes particularly good when it's seven times filtered.  Adding a slice of lime makes my preferred tipple.  The batteries have been recharged, and our energies replenished simply by the change in environment and routine.    Presents were unwrapped.  Smiles and laughter aplenty.  But the real gift, was the ability to be present, soaking up the here and now (or the there and then, as I write retrospectively).  Today, I adore giving.  I am able to give without expectation or condition.  Only in the absence of any agenda is it possible for me to be in the only state in which tr...

Another delicious bowl of soup.  Ginger and chilli made it a winter triumph.  Weekday suppers in Herne Hill are always good, and whilst the food is undeniably alluring, the company's unbeatable.  I could hardly believe my ears when Charlotte casually mentioned the run she had done earlier.  I almost choked when she told me how far she'd run and how quickly she'd done it.   This year has been bonkers.  Everything suddenly turned upside down.  And now it's returning to something of a new normal.  Charlotte is getting fitter and faster.  She could always run farther and faster than I can even imagine moving through space.  I'm back in the pool and am looking forward to spending a fair amount of time in underwater over the holidays.  I will be back on my bike in January.  Charlotte and I have plotted to clock up a few miles in the sp...

I'm not gonna lie.  It was tough.  It always is after a long break.  My PoolMate confirmed what I felt - I have missed my regular swims due to nasty sore throats and general under-the-weather-edness.  I wasn't alone.  I shared a lane for part of my session with a guy who had been similarly plagued with winter sickness.  We were both 'taking it easy'.  Apparently.  Thing is, enthusiasm got the better of me.  I managed just a little over 2.5k but it took far longer than it usually would.  Although it was only shortly after 4 in the afternoon, with it being dark, the pool didn't feel like the right environment at that time of day.  In the winter months, I am a morning and early afternoon swimmer.  It was great to be back in the water.  I know no better mood enhancer.         

Whilst there were several places I might have been that morning, I wouldn't have been anywhere else.  The practitioner from the Memory Service arrived promptly.  I liked her instantly.    Mum was nervous.  I think I was a little, too.  It's been a difficult year.   "It's Friday, it's the fourteenth of December and I'm at home..."   No problems there.  CAMCOG, or the Cambridge Cognitive Examination is a thorough assessment tool used to assess the extent of extent of dementia, and to assess the level of cognitive impairment.  The standardised  measure assesses orientation, language, memory, praxis, attention, abstract thinking, perception and calculation.    "Table.  Apple.  Penny."   Three everyday items that were introduced at one point, and then referred to again later on.  Again, Mum was able to recall each.      I am reminded that the...

Getting it in was not much in question.  I had confidently shared this only a fortnight ago and in so doing, had (re)set my intention.  Sometimes hearing myself tell someone else how a particular achievement is possible, and what it might take it to get it done, concretises the faith necessary in order to do precisely that:  get it done.   It was more about how and when than if.  Procrastination is something I'm well practised at.  I know it's landscape and texture well.  I can taste it.  There is something comfortable about the discomfort inherent in this as a modus operandi.  Thankfully, it has been contained to matters academic.  Beyond the books, I don't tend to flirt with deadlines.  My prolonged career as a student (albeit latterly a part time one) has become the forum in which I have pushed my affinity to be within earshot of a deadline before so much as typing the title.  It ...

It's that time of year.  This morning, on the briefest of perambulations, it suddenly dawned on me that winter is well and truly here.  I felt it (on my nose) and smelt it (in my nose).  I have bought a new pair of boots and everything!      And so, as I prepare for the conclusion of the year that has been, there suddenly feels to be an increase in pace.  I know my diary more intimately than I might ordinarily (3 weeks' in advance).  I have a finite number of appointments available between now and the 2013.  It's a strange, yet oddly familiar space to be occupying.  I have been somewhere similar before and feel pleasantly comfortable here.   I have not yet sent any cards.  I'll get round to it shortly.  I have bought the stamps in readiness.  It's one of the few seasonal traditions I observe annually.  I have plenty to report, but do not intend to compose a missive....