In every end a new beginning?

"Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine." (Robert C. Gallagher)

Endings are sometimes more important than beginnings. Endings may also be beginnings in disguise in the unending cycle that is life. Many of us struggle with endings. We may have had negative experiences, traumatic endings. Abrupt, unforeseen, unexpected and unwanted endings. Endings may prompt an escape reflex. Some of us have a history in which endings have been so appalling that it might seem easier to run, avoid or sabotage in order to avoid a formal, acknowledged, honoured ending.

The end of therapy presents an enormous challenge. It can often be around for a long time before it actually occurs, and the process, if allowed to unfold, can be profound and significant. Within it lies the potential for a reparative experience; something new and different, but there is a risk to be taken.

Within my approach around endings is a very tangible focus characterised by action. I endeavour to achieve this with my clients as a product of various developments as a result of our work together which might be summarised as self acceptance, momentum towards change and self confidence. These are not arrived at simply or by accident - they are the products of a sustained and productive relationship in which a client realises their goals and as a result of the psychological adjustments along the way, a client may be able to take meaningful and self directed action looking forward.

With each therapeutic ending, unexpected or planned, I find myself taking stock as to how I have been affected by the experience of working with an individual, and what I am learning from my clients. With these probing questions in mind, I strive to remain fully present with each encounter.

I like to honour endings. It feels important to acknowledge and celebrate a shared journey. It needn't take the form of anything grand, but there is dignity in two human beings recognising what it is that they have co-created. I wish my clients well, as they move into the next chapter of their lives and I into mine. Sometimes our paths cross, but often I will never know what happened next...

Perhaps "life is not so much about beginnings and endings but muddling through the middle..." (Anna Quindlen)

Comments

Table. Apple. Penny.

Whilst there were several places I might have been that morning, I wouldn't have been anywhere else. The practitioner from the Memory Service arrived promptly. I liked her instantly. Mum was nervous. I think I was a little, too. It's been a difficult year. "It's Friday, it's the fourteenth of December and I'm at home..." No problems there. CAMCOG, or the Cambridge Cognitive Examination is a thorough assessment tool used to assess the extent of extent of dementia, and to assess the level of cognitive impairment. The standardised measure assesses orientation, language, memory, praxis, attention, abstract thinking, perception and calculation. "Table. Apple. Penny." Three everyday items that were introduced at one point, and then referred to again later on. Again, Mum was able to recall each. I am reminded that the...

Glass half full? Glass half empty? Or perhaps the glass is broken

I am, constitutionally, a glass half empty gal. I will always first acknowledge what I don't have, what I have lost, and what it is that I am seeking. I tend to overlook my strengths, concentrating only on those bits of me that are underdeveloped or weak. I refer to myself as a realist, but in doing so compliment myself and insult those who genuinely are simply realistic. My modus operandi is to identify what's not working and acknowledge this before seeing more clearly what functions perfectly well. This has its place: I edit others' written work pretty well. My fastidious attention to detail serves me, and the author. Accuracy counts, for me and I have an excellent memory. I can remember a great many of my sessions with clients verbatim. Even this asset is something I can, and do, diminish the true value of, by concentrating on 'I should have said...' or 'why didn't.... occur to me during the session?' Earlier this we...

Joan Miro: Emotional Art

"Painting and poetry are like love; an exchange of blood, a passionate embrace, without restraint, without defence. The picture is born of an overflow of emotions and feelings." Miro, The Farm 'La Masia' (1921-22) I learnt a great deal about Miro on a recent visit to the Tate. I learnt a great deal about a lot more too. Miro wanted to discover the sources of human feeling. He described his method of creating poetry by way of painting, using a vocabulary of signs and symbols, metaphors and dream images to express definite themes he believed to be fundamental to human existence. The exhibition displays his sense of humor and lively wit. His chief concern was a social one; he wanted to get close to the great masses of humanity, and he was convinced that art can only truly appeal when it resonates with roots of lived experience. "Wherever you are, you find the sun, a blade of grass, the spirals of the dragonfly. Courage cons...

The Reward is the Journey

Search This Blog