Skip to main content

The hamster wheel of life

Observing the pupils of a local prep school running around the playing field brought back memories of cross country, an inescapable part of the school curriculum and something I have confined to the archives of my mind and rarely revisited, as it did not comprise an aspect of my school career I enjoyed much. 

There they were, following the seemingly endless track around the perimeter of the games fields stretching as far as my eye could see (probably partly due to the fact that I was observing from out of a window with an incomplete vista of the landscape).  Each boy clad in identical uniform games kit, legs propelling them around the course.  There, in front of me, was a teacher holding a clipboard, accompanied by a couple of other members of staff half-heartedly applauding the students as they ran past, and continued running.  I imagined the clipboard was to count down the number of circuits as individuals completed circuits.  A-round and a-round and a-round they went.  Some small, others tall.  None looking particularly athletic, participating I thought for the same reasons I did - compliance rather than choice. 

"Everything is something you decide to do, and there is nothing you have to do."
Denis Waitley

The scene prompted me to think of the many things we are expected to do, and of those things that even as an adult I feel I have little, if any, power to change.  There are, from time to time, things I am obliged to do that do not interest me.  This is part of life in the real world.  There are realities I would rather not acknowledge, things I would escape or avoid if I could.  But do them I must.  Or face the consequences.  Thankfully they are few and far between, but they are still worthy of acknowledgement.  Unless and until I win the lottery (you have to be in it to win it, and I don't purchase tickets, so my chances remain pretty slim regardless of the odds), there are a few practical matters that remain non negotiable. 

Just like those schoolboys simply doing what they do on a certain weekday afternoon, there are aspects to my life over which I have little say - this is how it is.  How I respond to my reality remains a matter of choice.  The attitude with which I approach each moment informs and influences the next moment.  And so it goes on.  This is perhaps the key.  I didn't find it on the running field, but am glad to have discovered this now. 

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." 
Winston Churchill









Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Table. Apple. Penny.

Whilst there were several places I might have been that morning, I wouldn't have been anywhere else.  The practitioner from the Memory Service arrived promptly.  I liked her instantly.    Mum was nervous.  I think I was a little, too.  It's been a difficult year.   "It's Friday, it's the fourteenth of December and I'm at home..."   No problems there.  CAMCOG, or the Cambridge Cognitive Examination is a thorough assessment tool used to assess the extent of extent of dementia, and to assess the level of cognitive impairment.  The standardised  measure assesses orientation, language, memory, praxis, attention, abstract thinking, perception and calculation.    "Table.  Apple.  Penny."   Three everyday items that were introduced at one point, and then referred to again later on.  Again, Mum was able to recall each.      I am reminded that the...

Glass half full? Glass half empty? Or perhaps the glass is broken

I am, constitutionally, a glass half empty gal.  I will always first acknowledge what I don't have, what I have lost, and what it is that I am seeking.  I tend to overlook my strengths, concentrating only on those bits of me that are underdeveloped or weak.  I refer to myself as a realist, but in doing so compliment myself and insult those who genuinely are simply realistic.  My modus operandi is to identify what's not working and acknowledge this before seeing more clearly what functions perfectly well.  This has its place: I edit others' written work pretty well.  My fastidious attention to detail serves me, and the author.  Accuracy counts, for me and I have an excellent memory.  I can remember a great many of my sessions with clients verbatim.  Even this asset is something I can, and do, diminish the true value of, by concentrating on 'I should have said...' or 'why didn't....  occur to me during the session?' Earlier this we...

Pausing in the sunshine

And so, chemo is over.  My best friend's diary has been chocker...  Line cleans, blood tests, scans and 18 weekly doses of the gruelling treatment itself.  Summer seems at last to have arrived and with it, we hope, some time, peace and space. She is, we acknowledged over a rather yummy luncheon served to us beneath the beautiful canopy of creepers and climbers at Petersham Nurseries, an inspiration. A small group of us gathered to celebrate her forthcoming marriage.  The sun's rays joined the warmth we all have for this very special woman.  Warmth and, in my case at least, pride. It is the greatest privilege to call this woman my best friend.  She continues to epitomise my understanding of grace.  Our bodies are fragile things.  Our minds are frailer still.  In her composure and wisdom, she possesses an outlook I can only aspire to adopt.  From you, dear Charlotte, I learn and I learn and I learn.   The ...