Not in a retreat state of mind

I know myself well enough to know when I’m procrastinating. Putting off. Avoiding the inevitable. As I pottered my way through the afternoon, I was well aware that I was delaying my journey and the beginning of my retreat. It wasn’t calling me. Everything else seemed to be.

Meeting myself in this place was the kindest thing I could have done in the circumstances. Rather than scolding myself for my lack of enthusiasm and my resultant tardiness, I responded with the kindness I would extend to a dear friend who found themselves in a similar conflict – wondering whether to retreat from the retreat.

I knew the drill. I picked up the phone and let a few kindred spirits who have accompanied me this far on the journey know where I was at. They didn’t criticise, judge or condemn. They beckoned me to come in my own time, and join them in the venture we were embarking on together, as individuals but also as a group, and a community.

Today I have choices. Sometimes I need to explicitly remind myself of these. Feeling that I ought, should or God-forbid must do something or be somewhere, especially at the weekend, is likely to inspire my inner critic swiftly followed by my inner rebel. It was important that I took the time I needed to prepare, and adjusted en route, to arrive at precisely the time I was meant to. We all arrive at the right time... When we’re ready.

Comments

Table. Apple. Penny.

Whilst there were several places I might have been that morning, I wouldn't have been anywhere else. The practitioner from the Memory Service arrived promptly. I liked her instantly. Mum was nervous. I think I was a little, too. It's been a difficult year. "It's Friday, it's the fourteenth of December and I'm at home..." No problems there. CAMCOG, or the Cambridge Cognitive Examination is a thorough assessment tool used to assess the extent of extent of dementia, and to assess the level of cognitive impairment. The standardised measure assesses orientation, language, memory, praxis, attention, abstract thinking, perception and calculation. "Table. Apple. Penny." Three everyday items that were introduced at one point, and then referred to again later on. Again, Mum was able to recall each. I am reminded that the...

Glass half full? Glass half empty? Or perhaps the glass is broken

I am, constitutionally, a glass half empty gal. I will always first acknowledge what I don't have, what I have lost, and what it is that I am seeking. I tend to overlook my strengths, concentrating only on those bits of me that are underdeveloped or weak. I refer to myself as a realist, but in doing so compliment myself and insult those who genuinely are simply realistic. My modus operandi is to identify what's not working and acknowledge this before seeing more clearly what functions perfectly well. This has its place: I edit others' written work pretty well. My fastidious attention to detail serves me, and the author. Accuracy counts, for me and I have an excellent memory. I can remember a great many of my sessions with clients verbatim. Even this asset is something I can, and do, diminish the true value of, by concentrating on 'I should have said...' or 'why didn't.... occur to me during the session?' Earlier this we...

Joan Miro: Emotional Art

"Painting and poetry are like love; an exchange of blood, a passionate embrace, without restraint, without defence. The picture is born of an overflow of emotions and feelings." Miro, The Farm 'La Masia' (1921-22) I learnt a great deal about Miro on a recent visit to the Tate. I learnt a great deal about a lot more too. Miro wanted to discover the sources of human feeling. He described his method of creating poetry by way of painting, using a vocabulary of signs and symbols, metaphors and dream images to express definite themes he believed to be fundamental to human existence. The exhibition displays his sense of humor and lively wit. His chief concern was a social one; he wanted to get close to the great masses of humanity, and he was convinced that art can only truly appeal when it resonates with roots of lived experience. "Wherever you are, you find the sun, a blade of grass, the spirals of the dragonfly. Courage cons...

The Reward is the Journey

Search This Blog