Not in a retreat state of mind

I know myself well enough to know when I’m procrastinating. Putting off. Avoiding the inevitable. As I pottered my way through the afternoon, I was well aware that I was delaying my journey and the beginning of my retreat. It wasn’t calling me. Everything else seemed to be.

Meeting myself in this place was the kindest thing I could have done in the circumstances. Rather than scolding myself for my lack of enthusiasm and my resultant tardiness, I responded with the kindness I would extend to a dear friend who found themselves in a similar conflict – wondering whether to retreat from the retreat.

I knew the drill. I picked up the phone and let a few kindred spirits who have accompanied me this far on the journey know where I was at. They didn’t criticise, judge or condemn. They beckoned me to come in my own time, and join them in the venture we were embarking on together, as individuals but also as a group, and a community.

Today I have choices. Sometimes I need to explicitly remind myself of these. Feeling that I ought, should or God-forbid must do something or be somewhere, especially at the weekend, is likely to inspire my inner critic swiftly followed by my inner rebel. It was important that I took the time I needed to prepare, and adjusted en route, to arrive at precisely the time I was meant to. We all arrive at the right time... When we’re ready.

Comments

Table. Apple. Penny.

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The Reward is the Journey

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