"I'm something of a go-to person for each of them, I s'pose", he explained. In this constellation, he is important. Go-to people are extremely important. Are you someone's go-to person? Who are your go-to people?
Most of us need a go-to person. Someone with whom you can be honest, and open. Somebody you could call in the middle of the night (and be confident that they'd pick up). Whose call would you take in the wee small hours? Even the most self sufficient of us benefit from the knowledge that there is someone to whom we can turn, come what may.
Being a go-to person is a privilege, but it is also a responsibility. The ability to respond to another's distress, and genuinely be present for someone else, depends on our own self care. Ideally, we construct a go-to network, accepting the reality that even in the age of instant communication, we cannot guarantee that someone will be there for us when we most need them.
As a therapist, I may be something of a go-to person for some of my clients, some of the time. Believing as I do that within all therapeutic encounters is the goal of interdependence, a healthy balance comprising self efficacy and an important degree of self awareness, to both know what one's needs look like, and how one might access and then use support to meet these - I do not strive to be anyone's go-to person indefinitely. Mine is a bit part in the grand scheme of things. I am the understudy for the many other characters who will walk into the lives of my clients, and play roles negotiated with my clients, as directors of their own stories.
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