A lot, actually. Our name is often something we have little say over. Expectant parents employ all sorts of strategies to arrive at a name that feels 'right', doing so very often before they've so much as met their infant. Name books may be bought, family trees poured over, trends reviewed and friends consulted. A short list is compiled. The big day comes. Waters break, labour concludes and baby arrives in the world...
...Moments later the presiding doctor makes a call that for many will be unproblematic. As baby takes its first few breaths post partem, "Congratulations, you have a beautiful baby boy!" Or... "what a gorgeous little girl!" From hereon in, baby's gender is decided, and with it a future. Whilst the baby palette is perhaps now broader than the traditional pink-for-a-girl and blue-for-a-boy, there remain countless assumptions and expectations made on the basis of gender.
In the vast majority of cases gender is determined within moments. An immediate external anatomical examination results in an instantaneous conclusion, without any cause for further enquiry. The significance is not to be underestimated. In the Western world, the gender binary is rarely explored, less still disputed. And yet, for a small but significant population, it simply doesn't fit.
I have had the privilege of working with several individuals for whom their gender identity has been the source of enormous discomfort, with consequent distress too commonly misunderstood, written off or minimised by so-called professionals whose ignorance and/or prejudice causes them to overlook the dysphoria which is an all too real reality for 3 people in every 100,000. As a practitioner who specialises in working with gender and sexual diversity the biggest concern is the age gender variant individuals present for treatment. The median average was found to be 42 years. Few young people present, despite the fact that an overwhelming majority of gender dysphoric adults report experiencing gender variance from a very early age.
Things are changing but for this invisible population change is desperately slow. We have a long way to go yet. Starting with the right to choose one's preferred name. The red tape that exists presents gender variant individuals and those of us seeking to support them with tiresome obstacles. I was simultaneously horrified and outraged to receive correspondence from a Gender Identity Clinic addressing my client using the incorrect name. My naïvety was shattered: the letter was littered with the wrong pronoun. It seems that even fellow professionals claiming to exist solely to meet the needs of those experiencing the dilemma of gender variant identity fall a long way short of sensitivity. This shortfall does nothing but inspire me to work harder to bridge the gap between where we are, and where we need to be.
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