A is for Acceptance

I couldn't help but recall a discussion I had at a meeting after a meeting recently. There I was, happily swimming along, minding my own business (and tuned in to my tunes) only to notice him prepare to join my lane. He had the choice of 4 others, but plumbed for the central lane where I was (and had been for over 2k). Mindless perhaps. Irritating beyond belief. Unforgivable, I'd say.

This is not the first time that I've encountered such an invasion. There is, I think, no coincidence with the fact that I swim in the lane that is often marked 'Fast'. It attracts a certain type of swimmer. Me, for one. I head for the middle lane, especially when the pool is less than busy. It's the fastest way to swim. Theoretically, there's less turbulence.

It was going to plan.

Until he got in.

My Thursday swim was cruelly interrupted. It didn't take much, but I lost my stroke, and then my breathing. There was nothing for it, but to stop. Which wasn't the worst thing in the world. I was greeted by my Lucozade, and was able to check my progress.

There was no stopping the splasher. Big dramatic turns. He had arrived. And I had a choice...

I could continue to swim. Or I could get out slightly prematurely.

I chose to swim.

In a different lane.

He brought to life something I know to be true. I am powerless over people, places and things. I am, of course, grateful for the reminder. And then there's the bigger picture. In the grand scheme of things, the difficulties I encounter today whilst trying to do 'life on life's terms' pale into insignificance and will, if all goes to plan (and a swift inventory is taken followed by a gratitude list), be forgotten about by the time I return to take the plunge. I might even grow to like swimming alongside the wall.

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment...

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens by mistake. Unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

From the Big Book, the Basic Text of Alcoholics Anonymous (4th edition) p. 417

Comments

Table. Apple. Penny.

Whilst there were several places I might have been that morning, I wouldn't have been anywhere else. The practitioner from the Memory Service arrived promptly. I liked her instantly. Mum was nervous. I think I was a little, too. It's been a difficult year. "It's Friday, it's the fourteenth of December and I'm at home..." No problems there. CAMCOG, or the Cambridge Cognitive Examination is a thorough assessment tool used to assess the extent of extent of dementia, and to assess the level of cognitive impairment. The standardised measure assesses orientation, language, memory, praxis, attention, abstract thinking, perception and calculation. "Table. Apple. Penny." Three everyday items that were introduced at one point, and then referred to again later on. Again, Mum was able to recall each. I am reminded that the...

Glass half full? Glass half empty? Or perhaps the glass is broken

I am, constitutionally, a glass half empty gal. I will always first acknowledge what I don't have, what I have lost, and what it is that I am seeking. I tend to overlook my strengths, concentrating only on those bits of me that are underdeveloped or weak. I refer to myself as a realist, but in doing so compliment myself and insult those who genuinely are simply realistic. My modus operandi is to identify what's not working and acknowledge this before seeing more clearly what functions perfectly well. This has its place: I edit others' written work pretty well. My fastidious attention to detail serves me, and the author. Accuracy counts, for me and I have an excellent memory. I can remember a great many of my sessions with clients verbatim. Even this asset is something I can, and do, diminish the true value of, by concentrating on 'I should have said...' or 'why didn't.... occur to me during the session?' Earlier this we...

Pausing in the sunshine

And so, chemo is over. My best friend's diary has been chocker... Line cleans, blood tests, scans and 18 weekly doses of the gruelling treatment itself. Summer seems at last to have arrived and with it, we hope, some time, peace and space. She is, we acknowledged over a rather yummy luncheon served to us beneath the beautiful canopy of creepers and climbers at Petersham Nurseries, an inspiration. A small group of us gathered to celebrate her forthcoming marriage. The sun's rays joined the warmth we all have for this very special woman. Warmth and, in my case at least, pride. It is the greatest privilege to call this woman my best friend. She continues to epitomise my understanding of grace. Our bodies are fragile things. Our minds are frailer still. In her composure and wisdom, she possesses an outlook I can only aspire to adopt. From you, dear Charlotte, I learn and I learn and I learn. The ...

The Reward is the Journey

Search This Blog