The Reward is the Journey

Easter weekend.  Really?!  It's come round so fast.  Where did the last three months disappear to?  And what has happened to Spring.  The weather in London first thing yesterday and this morning has been deceptive.  But it did the trick.  There was hope.  It was possible to be optimistic.  The getting-to-work always feels easier when the sun shows its face.  We've seen so little of it that one could be forgiven for forgetting what morning sunshine is.   Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.    Seneca It's a good lesson in counting one's blessings.  I choose to live here.  After all.  Wouldn't live anywhere else.  Not just now, anyway.  So here I am.  And here we are.  And get on we should.  So I have been.  But it's been going pretty quickly.  In the blink of an eye it's the start of the new tax year.  How did that ha...

Sometimes the simple things really are the best.  His chair was brilliant.  I was there with him, hanging on his every word.  Our stories are different, as they so often are, but it didn't matter in the least.  I heard exactly what I needed to hear.  And he got to do a bit of service.  He was right of course.  Everyone sat on a chair was, and is a miracle.  And miracles do happen.  There's nothing mystical about recovery.  But there is lots that doesn't make a lot of sense.  It is a wise suggestion to keep things simple, as it could easily get way too complicated if I tried to think about it.  It's a program of action for good reason, too.  Sitting around, thinking about things, hasn't got many people very far.  And most of us need to get a very long way away from where we were.  So there is work to be done.  And guidance is offered every step of the way.   But do the steps we should.  I...

I am drawn to films claiming to portray issues pertaining to the work of fellow psych professionals, or mental health issues.  That was how I came to see Side Effects (2013).  That, and the fact that I'd seen (the brilliant)  Arbitrage (2012) the previous evening.  Side Effects has perhaps one too many twists. It's brilliantly clever, and I was utterly engrossed throughout. But there were some obstacles to overcome. The first of which was the believability factor. It simply wouldn't happen that way. There is something known as Professional Indemnity that would have had a radical bearing on the story line - altering it substantially - albeit with consequently compromised drama. It was, I think, a great portrayal of someone with undiagnosed Personality Disorder. There was some minor and fleeting reference to an alternative diagnosis towards the end of the movie, when psychiatrist Jonathan Banks (played by Jude Law who, my fellow cinema-goers and I a...

Sunday was awesome.  I did not anticipate that we would ride for so long.  Charlotte probably didn't either. I feel certain that four laps would ordinarily take her a lot less time.  But she remains ever patient, and super supportive.  Her gentle words of encouragement, delivered with such heart and always at precisely the right moment, count for everything.  Particularly when I'm busting my lungs, not to mention my legs, trying to get up Broomfield Hill.  We rode around the Park four times.  Twice in each direction.  It was brilliant.  It was hard.   I have a little over four months until my first ever cyclo-sportive.  One hundred miles on two wheels.  And I'm just a little bit scared.  There's no need.  Of course.  And little point.  Obviously.  Every ounce of energy needs to be wisely invested.  I simply need to concentrate on getting fitter, and hopefully faster.  My legs are st...

Mink, we agreed.  As opposed to mouse.  I've never possessed many mousey qualities.  I don't like them much, either.   Carol is, to my mind, something of a genius.  She is my hairdresser.  But she is so much more besides.  Having highlighted my hair on and off for the last ten years, it has felt both strange and brilliant to get to know my own hair colour. And I've even had compliments.  They concern me less than the sense of authenticity and alignment that accompanied the decision (and the haircut).  This is part of me.  Plain and simple, yet far from straightforward.   I believe it to be the journey of a lifetime, to become the person you truly are.  Joseph Campbell said it was the privilege of a lifetime.  Ralph Waldo Emerson described it as the greatest accomplishment, to be oneself in a world that is constantly trying to make one into something else.  I am a work in progress.  That much I kn...

I had almost forgotten about this film, but I shouldn't have done - it was brilliant. So, a guy loses his job and travels through France with his son.  His sister reluctantly takes him in (well, she feels obliged to do so).  He gets a job as a bouncer working in a cl ub - where there's a fight.  Guy meets girl - who works with killer whales.  Girl has a horrific accident at her workplace.  Girl calls guy.  Guy takes her swimming - and then to bed.  His behaviour deteriorates.  He causes his sister to lose her job.  She asks him to leave - which he does - leaving behind the girl, and his son - again.  Guy's brother-in-law brings his son to him - young boy nearly dies in dramatic accident - but survives.  Guy and girl get back together... The synopsis really doesn't tell the story that underlies this fantastic film in which one's emotions are pushed to the limit on more than one occasion.  It's challenging and thoug...

As a therapist with a special interest in our relationships with substances, it is important for me to remember the terrifying prospect that abstinence may represent to many people.  As someone who works with many gender and sexual diversity clients, I have noticed the overlap between those who might identify as belonging to a minority group and those who are primarily interested in reducing, or controlling their usage of drugs and alcohol.  From a therapeutic perspective, the distinction is all important.  The goals and objectives look very different for the client, and therefore for our work together.  The Club Drug Clinic at Chelsea & Westminster Hospital and CODE at 56 Dean Street in Soho know this better than most.  Working with LGBTQ individuals who use substances requires an appreciation of the particular contexts in which drugs are being used.  Drugs have come to play an important part of the scene for many communities, and without this know...

Mercifully, most of us will never have to experience the devastating cocktail of emotions faced by those left behind when someone close disappears.  As a society, we are not well equipped to conceive the impact that hits someone as they come to realise that someone they love is missing.  It is as though missing is still missing from our social and cultural agenda.  We are, I suspect, guilty of guarding against the unbearable.  There is a void in the support structures available to the friends and family who plunge into an abyss of unknowns as, unlike many other struggles and difficulties that we have been forced to acknowledge, all too often, missing itself gets lost from the political agenda, leaving the pain of those who live this nightmare, unseen and unheard.  Since joining the Services Team at Missing People a little over two years' ago, I have been thinking in some depth about supporting the individuals and families that the cha...

Arriving home, after a full day and a long week, to find my bedroom had been flooded was a nasty shock.  It took a little while to set in, and then a longer while to shift.  My bedroom is (ordinarily) something of a sanctuary.  A home within my home.  A nest.  A place to rest, relax, and re-calibrate   Seeing the water pouring in, through the ceiling, was another very unpleasant reminder of my powerlessness.  There was nothing, in that moment, that I could physically do to remedy the situation.  It was what it was, and I had to simply watch the water come through for the next three and a half hours.  Splashing, then splishing, then dropping, then dripping.  Water always finds a course.  This course was vertical - down onto my bed, my carpet, and everything around.   It could indeed have been a whole lot worse.  Now, I can value the philosophical input I have received over the weekend.  It was not entire...

It felt like coming home.  It had been too long.  And my back, neck and hips told the story.  There is such a powerful connection between the body and mind, to neglect one is to deprive the other.  The two must be nourished in tandem.  And so, as I lay there, concentrating on my breath and trying to go with, rather than against, I was reminded how important physical therapies are, alongside and complementary to, talking therapy.  I hadn't exactly forgotten, yet this felt like a revelation.  There is head knowledge, and there is body wisdom.  I guess I got a taste of the latter.  My spine will thank me.