Skip to main content

Don't call me Madam

My blueberries did not scan first time.  The supermarket assistant tried again.  And then figured it might be quicker, and more straightforward, to manually enter the product code.  It worked.  The label hadn't.

They don't always.  Within the briefest of interactions, which could not have lasted more than a minute the member of staff had used a gender specific pronoun no less than three times.  Each time completely, I felt, unnecessarily.  

I felt riled up.  But I did not let on.  Instead, I enquired whether I might make a suggestion which was  immediately welcomed.  I explained that whilst I hadn't been offended or insulted, the use of the word 'Miss' might well alienate some shoppers.  

The person to whom I addressed my concerns looked, at first, quizzical.  Then increasingly perplexed...  It was obvious that this wasn't a suggestion of the variety that they had foreseen.  

They proceeded to recollect an experience where it had been suggested that 'Madam' might be preferable.  I refuted this, with growing energy, eager that they might see the point; highlighting the assumption to be found in either.  

I expanded, drawing attention to the name badge I could see, placed in a prominent position, presumably as a required part of the standard uniform.  I compared the unadorned breast pocket of my own denim jacket.  

Labels (when placed with care) are perhaps useful on boxes of blueberries.  They have little, if any, use when it comes to people we don't know, and are unlikely to get to know when we make assumptions based on our conditioned interpretations of their outward appearance.  

The supermarket assistant thanked me profusely, communicating (what I felt to be sincere) gratitude for 'an outside opinion'.  I walked away feeling hopeful that I might have prompted someone to think twice before they jump to a conclusion that might negatively impact someone's afternoon, day or week.  



No gender specific pronouns have been used in this post. 
That's because they're often quite superfluous.


  



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Table. Apple. Penny.

Whilst there were several places I might have been that morning, I wouldn't have been anywhere else.  The practitioner from the Memory Service arrived promptly.  I liked her instantly.    Mum was nervous.  I think I was a little, too.  It's been a difficult year.   "It's Friday, it's the fourteenth of December and I'm at home..."   No problems there.  CAMCOG, or the Cambridge Cognitive Examination is a thorough assessment tool used to assess the extent of extent of dementia, and to assess the level of cognitive impairment.  The standardised  measure assesses orientation, language, memory, praxis, attention, abstract thinking, perception and calculation.    "Table.  Apple.  Penny."   Three everyday items that were introduced at one point, and then referred to again later on.  Again, Mum was able to recall each.      I am reminded that the...

Glass half full? Glass half empty? Or perhaps the glass is broken

I am, constitutionally, a glass half empty gal.  I will always first acknowledge what I don't have, what I have lost, and what it is that I am seeking.  I tend to overlook my strengths, concentrating only on those bits of me that are underdeveloped or weak.  I refer to myself as a realist, but in doing so compliment myself and insult those who genuinely are simply realistic.  My modus operandi is to identify what's not working and acknowledge this before seeing more clearly what functions perfectly well.  This has its place: I edit others' written work pretty well.  My fastidious attention to detail serves me, and the author.  Accuracy counts, for me and I have an excellent memory.  I can remember a great many of my sessions with clients verbatim.  Even this asset is something I can, and do, diminish the true value of, by concentrating on 'I should have said...' or 'why didn't....  occur to me during the session?' Earlier this we...

Joan Miro: Emotional Art

"Painting and poetry are like love; an exchange of blood, a passionate embrace, without restraint, without defence.  The picture is born of an overflow of emotions and feelings." Miro, The Farm 'La Masia' (1921-22) I learnt a great deal about Miro on a recent visit to the Tate.  I learnt a great deal about a lot more too. Miro wanted to discover the sources of human feeling.  He described his method of creating poetry by way of painting, using a vocabulary of signs and symbols, metaphors and dream images to express definite themes he believed to be fundamental to human existence.  The exhibition displays his sense of humor and lively wit.  His chief concern was a social one; he wanted to get close to the great masses of humanity, and he was convinced that art can only truly appeal when it resonates with roots of lived experience.  "Wherever you are, you find the sun, a blade of grass, the spirals of the dragonfly.  Courage cons...