The Reward is the Journey

The recent story to break in the press about legal highs caught my eye but was not much of a surprise.  Deaths due to so-called 'legal highs' have shot up by 80%.  The figure sounds appalling but does not, in reality, tell us much, except that there are more reported deaths accounted for by the usage of synthetic drugs.  Statistics lie, after all.  Or rarely tell the full story.  I was pleased to be able to step in when LBC 97.3FM asked me for a professional opinion this evening (the piece was subsequently deferred due to the recent developments in Syria).   Spice, meow meow, black mamba, mexxy, benzofury, bath salts*.  They're all the rage.  Have been for a while, and this tragic reality is an accident that's been waiting to happen.  It was, I think, only a matter of time. The main problem with these manufactured psychoactive substances so readily available to anyone with access to the internet is that they are largely untested. ...

My blueberries did not scan first time.  The supermarket assistant tried again.  And then figured it might be quicker, and more straightforward, to manually enter the product code.  It worked.  The label hadn't. They don't always.  Within the briefest of interactions, which could not have lasted more than a minute the member of staff had used a gender specific pronoun no less than three times.  Each time completely, I felt, unnecessarily.   I felt riled up.  But I did not let on.  Instead, I enquired whether I might make a suggestion which was  immediately welcomed.  I explained that whilst I hadn't been offended or insulted, the use of the word 'Miss' might well alienate some shoppers.   The person to whom I addressed my concerns looked, at first, quizzical.  Then increasingly perplexed...  It was obvious that this wasn't a suggestion of the variety that they had foreseen.   They proceeded to re...

Another year has flown by.  It was Mum's birthday this week.  Birthdays are important - to me, at least.  We have begun to take them quite seriously.  Her consultants don't have much confidence she'll have many more.  Old age, sickness and death - the three certainties, according to he who has become known as the Buddha.  The thing about chronic illnesses such as COPD and Emphysema is that they may rule out the first option.  She has yet to turn 70, but has the lifestyle of someone who's enjoyed great many more years.   The illness sits between my mother and I. Every contact is contaminated with reminders of its ever increasing presence as it plunges its claws ever deeper.  It has sapped so much life out of her, which I hate to acknowledge but can no longer ignore.  Our theatre trip together this weekend was a something of a joyous reprieve - we all enjoyed the change of scenery and the production was, we all agreed (in contrast to ...

It was a nasty shock and an unwelcome reminder that Charlotte is, whilst very athletic (winning the Womens 4-Up 10mile Millennium Time Trial at Bicester last Tuesday), still a cancer patient.  She is awaiting a final instalment of surgery (the 'finishing touches') and, following her somewhat traumatic pre-op on Wednesday, was taken unwell on Thursday.   This is a woman who knows her body very well.  It has been through a lot.  She has carried herself with such grace, and when unable to do so alone, allowed others to step in and support her through the most gruelling phases.  Treatment took priority last year, and this year has been about living in the solution - on Tamoxifen.  The green juices and (slightly adjusted) exercise regimen have already paid dividends.  Charlotte is now a triathlete (although she's keeping it quiet-ish) - having done a sterling job at the Shock Absorber WomenOnly triathlon at Dorney Lake on 14 July (the challenge ...

As I sat in the traffic, something unusual caught my eye.  Not, for a change, someone running the red light.  Something altogether more interesting.  Something altogether more beautiful.  He had bottles lined up, and several more in the air.  He threw them and then caught them in sequence, with precision.  With masterful artistry.  For the briefest of moments, I was captivated.   And then it was time to continue with my journey...   It's these moments that might appear in a Pleasant Events Calendar*, were I to be completing one.  And so I might.  It reminded me that pleasant things can occur quite out of the blue, in corners that we least expect to find them.  I have never met the juggler, whom I presume to be a bartender with flair, or one in the making.  And it's unlikely to ever happen, yet in that moment, what I saw him doing changed my day.  For the better. I enjoy teaching mindfulness.  It is a...

It's not always clear to those who ask me about my practice and the areas in which I specialise.  I have never sought to be able to do everything.  I'm not sure it's possible.  I was drawn towards the addiction field.  It called me, and I landed.  I paused a while, as there was a great deal to absorb.   I learnt what I know about addiction from the inside out, and I was supported in my development by some fabulous individuals whom I met along the way.  But addiction is, I came to see very quickly, but a symptom.  People do not, generally, fall into drink and drugs, or other self defeating behaviour quite by chance.  We are taken to dark places by dark things, and most people who find themselves in the grips of the cunning, baffling illness that is addiction, have experienced some dark events.   So, whilst working with those seeking to heal and recover from their addictive behaviours, I became increasingly aware of the layers tha...

Dear Pool, It was so good to see you again.   To be greeted by your cool and refreshing water.  So empty on a Monday morning.   The sunlight making those beautiful patterns on the painted bottom beneath me. Enveloped by the depth, and supported by the volume. Peaceful and serene.   The beautiful quietness lacking language yet feeling never more so connected.   I hadn't realised how much I have missed you, and what you give me. It was so good to stretch, and breathe, and swim. I have come to realise that time I spend in the water is never wasted time. The state I find myself during and after a swim is hard to achieve elsewhere. Whilst in water, I think, I am in my element. I am looking forward to swimming more regularly... We couldn't have wished for a better morning swim.  Whilst not the warmest it's been, it was quiet, and that was worth the few degrees difference in temperature.  The water was cool, and inviting.  I l...

The inaugural Prudential Ride100 was an experience I am unlikely (and hope never) to forget.  For now, it is imprinted in my visceral memory, as my body continues to recover from the exertions it entailed.  I will, I think, be reflecting on the experience in the days and weeks to come but for now, I am deeply connected with a sense of having taken part in something terrifically special and out of the ordinary.  It was extraordinary.  There were sixteen and a half thousand of us on two wheels.  Including at least one tandem entry whose riders were doing a fabulous job and maintaining quite a pace when I saw them!  The course was tough, but did not feel as gruelling as I had perhaps feared.   The atmosphere was intense.  From the moment we unloaded the bikes on Jamaica Road, the closest we could get to the QEOP and the former Stadium, we were in great company.  We pedalled with hundreds of others, all up at the crack of dawn (the sun had o...

I am one of the most highly trained therapists I know.  Yes, you did read that correctly.  I do not claim to be the best therapist, but I know very well how well trained I have been.  And continue to be.  See for me, my training did not end when I qualified in 2008.  Rather that was when my training began.   We all of us (therapists) train on the job.  It is a prerequisite in the field.  You learn as you work, and you work as you learn.  The learning cannot be separated from the working, though your work is protected through clinical supervision and by the ethical framework(s) to which you subscribe.   I will, I think, always be learning.  I live to learn, and learn to live.  The day I stop learning will, I hope, be the day I die.  Or at least retire.  Doing this work, I would be useless, if not dangerous, were I not constantly inspired and motivated to deepen that which I believe I know and that which I ...

I remember well my first kitchen.  Not the one within which my mother cooked for my sister and I, but my kitchen.  It was, I recall, reasonably well equipped.  Everything one needed had its own place.  All neat and tidy, and matching.  I can't recall how anything smelt, or tasted, but it all looked pretty good.   These days I don't derive quite the same pleasure from the ordinary business of day to day housekeeping.  In truth, probably too little time is spent 'keeping house'.  But this is more to do with the schedule of activities that take me beyond the front door, than sheer dislike.   I don't, in fact, dislike many of the activities that sometimes get very bad press.  And this was what got me thinking about what it is, that I have come to appreciate about the apparently mundane.  After all, it is the day to day that we find ourselves doing most days.  It is rare for me to spend extended periods of time in cate...

Once upon a time I used to enjoy singing Magnificat - now I ride them.  Well, I rode all over this one!  Charlotte says I'm training hard.  And I reckon she knows a thing or two about training.  When the going got tough (which it did at a number of points along the way) I reminded myself of this - "shut up legs, you're in training!" The forecast for blistering heat (and more reliable recent conditions) did not deter me from a seriously early start to get down to Newbury and join the throng.  Over 2,000 likeminded cyclists - all of us, out of our minds.   During the 82 mile circuit I found myself pondering a great many things, navigating some demanding South facing hills with the sun beating down on myself and my companions...  It occurred to me, as it has in the past, that there are a great many lessons to be learnt from the saddle, applicable elsewhere. Make no assumptions.  One may have been taught that what goes up must come down. ...

My two most recent swims have not been the most successful.  The lido was packed on Sunday.  Even at 9am.  We thought we'd get up early, and beat the crowd.  We could not have imagined the scene that awaited our arrival.  There we were, all keen, and wetsuit free.  And there was everyone else, sun lotion at the ready and towels aplenty. The lanes were busy.  And lacking in decorum.  There was nothing to choose between:  The fast lane was slow.  The slow lane was treading water.  We gave it our best shot.  And Charlotte's shot was far more poised than my own.  She managed to get in, and get on, finding a rhythm and taking it all in her 'stroke'.   My stroke suffered.  I couldn't breathe.  I found a like-mind who was equally disappointed (but far more determined than I to get her 2k in, to ensure she didn't regret the wasted journey later in the day when she had a friend's leaving BBQ to attend...

Wat Buddhapapida in Wimbledon the first Buddhist Temple in the UK It came as little, if any, surprise to me to hear that Djokovic, whom even after his defeat yesterday is still ranked No. 1 in the World, took time out during the Championship and found a Buddhist temple in SW19 the perfect place to do so.   Born a week apart Murray and Djokovic met on the court as eleven year olds He and Murray met as Juniors and their superpower rivalry is relatively new in comparison to their longstanding friendship.  They have had four head to head contests in Grand Slam finals, at which they have each picked up two trophies.  Djokovic has yet to beat Murray on the green grass at Wimbledon. Both players have revealed their 'secrets'.  Both know how important it is to truly relax, in order to maximise their focus during their long matches which demand as much psychological stamina as athletic brilliance.   But whilst their game strategy might confuse those ...